Happy and Not
I just got out of my last final exam...and basically I'm still in a state.
I admitted to a friend here that sleep deprivation was probably going to continue until all this was finally over...now that it is, I can only hope that I'm right.
And really, I have no reason to think that I passed all my courses. Once I was in the hole and found that my people issues were stopping me from a solution that would have been a cake-walk out for "normal" people; I was effectively finished. I'm not an optimistic sort -- don't think I ever ever have been -- so while I might say I was hoping I can rally, I knew in my heart there was no way I could rally. Not with the inability to work with people who aren't female, and especially not with me and my lab partners effectively giving up on each other a lot sooner than I was willing to let on to you people.
The spring semester starts January 22. That gives me a month to find some way to tolerate other people because I will have to take a lab class again, possibly two. Not confident that will happen quickly because I have exactly one Skype friend and am too suspicious of people to add others randomly.
I'm happy, I guess, that the semester is over. But mostly I'm not happy because I'm still looking for answers that don't seem to be forthcoming.
I admitted to a friend here that sleep deprivation was probably going to continue until all this was finally over...now that it is, I can only hope that I'm right.
And really, I have no reason to think that I passed all my courses. Once I was in the hole and found that my people issues were stopping me from a solution that would have been a cake-walk out for "normal" people; I was effectively finished. I'm not an optimistic sort -- don't think I ever ever have been -- so while I might say I was hoping I can rally, I knew in my heart there was no way I could rally. Not with the inability to work with people who aren't female, and especially not with me and my lab partners effectively giving up on each other a lot sooner than I was willing to let on to you people.
The spring semester starts January 22. That gives me a month to find some way to tolerate other people because I will have to take a lab class again, possibly two. Not confident that will happen quickly because I have exactly one Skype friend and am too suspicious of people to add others randomly.
I'm happy, I guess, that the semester is over. But mostly I'm not happy because I'm still looking for answers that don't seem to be forthcoming.
Replies
Sorry to hear things aren\'t going well my friend...but hey, at least it\'s over, and you have a nice long break to regroup and try and take some baby steps, right? Wishing you peace :)
It\'s been a while since I was in that test taking mode; but I do recall always feeling relatively confident while taking the test, but then really unsure of myself once I handed it in. All you can do at that point is hope you did well, but it didn\'t stop me worrying I didn\'t.
At least now you have time to catch up on your sleep and with any luck you will make some headway into those people issues you mentioned before the next semester. You absolutely have to take lab courses next semester? If you can avoid them for another semester it might be wise so you can sort out how to best deal with others. If you can\'t avoid them, then so long as you get to pick who you will work with, just trust your gut to point you in the direction of someone who will be understanding of you. And at the very least, you have DS peeps to vent to and support you in the meanwhile.
Best wishes...