had sex with my ex..
strange. it was uncomfortable. it wasnt loving and warm. i found myself thinking of someone else and wondering if he was thinking of someone else. he didnt make love to my whole body...he just kept sucking my nipples and hard. OMG. i had 2 tell him to be more gentle. my nipples are kinda sensitive right now and he made them kinds hurt. i was thinking OMG is that all u have? i found myself thinking he had an affair with this chick and she taught him nothing. the foreplay was not great. i just wanted to get to the intercourse. thats the way its bn 4 some time. hes a selfish lover. our lovemaking is not very affectionate. idk. maybe that true of many lasting relationships. when i was with someone else he was in awe of me. he wanted to touch my whole body. he wanted to kiss and lick my whole body not just my nipples. hell he bit my hair....lol. it was intense. and sweet. we fell asleep wrapped in each other and woke up and the intensity just started over again.
i wanted some affection; i guess i got it. the best thing was the kissing.
i mostly feel sorry 4 him. angry sometimes.
i wanna move on, but the reality is i havent yet. idk what 2 do in the meantime. even with all his faults id be glad 2 b a family again if he cld be open with me...id hope that the affection and lovingness etc wld follow...open is a start. its a necessity....but if he refuses to be open with me theres no hope....how long do i wait?
i already intellectually think that ive waited 2 long
but emotionally and spiritually is where im still unsure
its a true pain in the ass. i so want to move on but things just move slow not fast. a part of me wants to just trade up....find a great guy (how do i do that) and just divorce this one and then marry the new one....how do men do that?...dont men usually have another chick waiting in the wings when they drop the one theyre with...so that they r never truly single....
i dont want to be single. im done with that lifestyle. i want a partner. i dont have one now. im married with no husband...how did that happen?
i ask him all the time how did we get here? he doesnt have any answers and i dont either. seems like he doesnt wanna know either. like he just wants to give up.
maybe i shd just give up as well. ive truly done all i can. all else i cld do is wait. ive done that all the while. do i wish to wait some more?
i wanted some affection; i guess i got it. the best thing was the kissing.
i mostly feel sorry 4 him. angry sometimes.
i wanna move on, but the reality is i havent yet. idk what 2 do in the meantime. even with all his faults id be glad 2 b a family again if he cld be open with me...id hope that the affection and lovingness etc wld follow...open is a start. its a necessity....but if he refuses to be open with me theres no hope....how long do i wait?
i already intellectually think that ive waited 2 long
but emotionally and spiritually is where im still unsure
its a true pain in the ass. i so want to move on but things just move slow not fast. a part of me wants to just trade up....find a great guy (how do i do that) and just divorce this one and then marry the new one....how do men do that?...dont men usually have another chick waiting in the wings when they drop the one theyre with...so that they r never truly single....
i dont want to be single. im done with that lifestyle. i want a partner. i dont have one now. im married with no husband...how did that happen?
i ask him all the time how did we get here? he doesnt have any answers and i dont either. seems like he doesnt wanna know either. like he just wants to give up.
maybe i shd just give up as well. ive truly done all i can. all else i cld do is wait. ive done that all the while. do i wish to wait some more?
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