Had It Out With Joey
Well, we had one helluva row last night. I worked noon to five and we had had a bad night as it was. Then I wake him up at quarter past eleven and say 'you have to get up, we need to get going, another six inches of snow fell on the two feet we already have so the roads will be slow going'. He finally got up and out to the SUV at 11:45am, we had been waiting for over fifteen minutes. Plus, it's a fifteen minute drive to my job on a good day....so I was late for work. First shitty thing, he knew I was going to be late and he didn't care.
So he get's me at five and is all pissy. Says he is in a bad mood. Then he didn't feed Marlow supper, and had thawed nothing so he says 'let's go to mcdonalds'. He's all upset about lack of money but whatever. Then he can't find his coupons that he had in his pocket for the restaraunt, and he blames me! Yea, cuz I went rooting around in his pockets to swipe his damn coupons. But we get the food to go and get home. Marlow only gets a grilled cheese and unsalted fries there, I won't let her eat anything else. The grilled cheese isn't even warmed up, the fries are all half full, and his burger has no cheese. So he calls and reams them out a bit. Then proceeds to eat his burger, and all the fries except Marlows. So I got a burger and that was it for supper.
So I get up after eating my one burger and start doing some things that I asked him to do. Like some recycling and such. And he get's mad. We had some lady coming by to pick up the box Marlow's step 2 kitchen came in because she needed a big box for something. I asked him to break it down so that it was ready for her when she came over at six. He didn't do it. Of course. And then he spazzed out when I did it, saying he would of done it. But she was there like ten seconds later. So when the hell was he going to do it?
Then I go about cleaning up the rest of the house he didn't touch. Like Marlow's highchair that still has lunch stuck to it, and the dishes piled on the counters. The garbage on the living room floor. And I'm really mad by then. And I tell him I am. And he starts to get angrier too. And he says that he may only clean once a month max but that one time he cleans he does a better job then I ever do because I only surface clean and never ever really clean. That hurt, alot. I do EVERYTHING for him. Hell, if we are watching TV and he want's a snack, I get up, get it for him, then clean up the dishes!! I've always been like that. But I expect if he is up and I ask him to bring me a drink that he will. And he won't.
I was so angry, I went to our bedroom, after tossing his rings back at him, and started packing. I was bawling. I'm so tired of being the lower person in this relationship. He is so money self centered. He thinks I don't care if we don't make our bills at the end of the month, I care, but I'm not going to let it eat me alive! He will not do anything unless he is getting paid for it. Since he doesn't get paid for house work, he won't do it. I don't get paid for it. He also thinks since he makes like 4 times as much as I do, that I have no right over the money. He has taken to checking the bank account and drilling me on what I purchased that was four bucks, or what I spent twenty on.
He thinks I NEED him, that I can't survive without him. He told me last night that if his kidney failed again and he had to go on unemployment that we would lose everything because I wouldn't be able to care for Marlow and myself, let alone him. What?? I used to work a full time job, two part time jobs AND go to school. I can take care of myself, and I know I could take care of Marlow too. I am with him because I WANT to be, not because I NEED to be. I'm not some helpless idiot who couldn't find the opening in a paper bag.
I'm going to write him a letter today, telling him why I'm leaving him. And I have tomorrow off, so I am setting up the guest room for me to stay in. Wether this is the end or not, I don't know, it's up to him, but I'm also going to talk to my boss about more hours and look into government housing and subsidy for child care. If he doesn't pull some sort of miracle out of his ass, I'm done.
So he get's me at five and is all pissy. Says he is in a bad mood. Then he didn't feed Marlow supper, and had thawed nothing so he says 'let's go to mcdonalds'. He's all upset about lack of money but whatever. Then he can't find his coupons that he had in his pocket for the restaraunt, and he blames me! Yea, cuz I went rooting around in his pockets to swipe his damn coupons. But we get the food to go and get home. Marlow only gets a grilled cheese and unsalted fries there, I won't let her eat anything else. The grilled cheese isn't even warmed up, the fries are all half full, and his burger has no cheese. So he calls and reams them out a bit. Then proceeds to eat his burger, and all the fries except Marlows. So I got a burger and that was it for supper.
So I get up after eating my one burger and start doing some things that I asked him to do. Like some recycling and such. And he get's mad. We had some lady coming by to pick up the box Marlow's step 2 kitchen came in because she needed a big box for something. I asked him to break it down so that it was ready for her when she came over at six. He didn't do it. Of course. And then he spazzed out when I did it, saying he would of done it. But she was there like ten seconds later. So when the hell was he going to do it?
Then I go about cleaning up the rest of the house he didn't touch. Like Marlow's highchair that still has lunch stuck to it, and the dishes piled on the counters. The garbage on the living room floor. And I'm really mad by then. And I tell him I am. And he starts to get angrier too. And he says that he may only clean once a month max but that one time he cleans he does a better job then I ever do because I only surface clean and never ever really clean. That hurt, alot. I do EVERYTHING for him. Hell, if we are watching TV and he want's a snack, I get up, get it for him, then clean up the dishes!! I've always been like that. But I expect if he is up and I ask him to bring me a drink that he will. And he won't.
I was so angry, I went to our bedroom, after tossing his rings back at him, and started packing. I was bawling. I'm so tired of being the lower person in this relationship. He is so money self centered. He thinks I don't care if we don't make our bills at the end of the month, I care, but I'm not going to let it eat me alive! He will not do anything unless he is getting paid for it. Since he doesn't get paid for house work, he won't do it. I don't get paid for it. He also thinks since he makes like 4 times as much as I do, that I have no right over the money. He has taken to checking the bank account and drilling me on what I purchased that was four bucks, or what I spent twenty on.
He thinks I NEED him, that I can't survive without him. He told me last night that if his kidney failed again and he had to go on unemployment that we would lose everything because I wouldn't be able to care for Marlow and myself, let alone him. What?? I used to work a full time job, two part time jobs AND go to school. I can take care of myself, and I know I could take care of Marlow too. I am with him because I WANT to be, not because I NEED to be. I'm not some helpless idiot who couldn't find the opening in a paper bag.
I'm going to write him a letter today, telling him why I'm leaving him. And I have tomorrow off, so I am setting up the guest room for me to stay in. Wether this is the end or not, I don't know, it's up to him, but I'm also going to talk to my boss about more hours and look into government housing and subsidy for child care. If he doesn't pull some sort of miracle out of his ass, I'm done.
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