had a great nap....so sweet.

after another late night of tossing and hoping for sleep......into the wee hours of the morning i am so happy to share that today i had a GREAT NAP.......woke up feeling so much better. 

still coughing but it's receding.  like a bad storm beginning to lose it's muster.  freshly showered in clean cotton jammers......just enjoyed an easy dinner of good stuff.

nothing to fancy.  had some chicken nuggets from the grocery deli counter.....some warm buttered buns and a big dish of cool peach jello......and more meds.  meds, meds,meds, meds.  but they are working in this old tired body and for this one must give thanks!

the fibro pain has been knocked way way down......i reported this to my doc....after noticing that the blood pressure cuff barely registered so much as an ounce of pain.......normally i have to grit my teeth and pray for hope, help and cavalry when my blood pressure is taken on my arm......the pain is INTENSE.  anyway, doc said they've been doing research on how it is that other sickness invading a chronically ill body can in fact reduce the symptoms of several chronic pain diseases.  interesting......very interesting.

it has also temporarily reduced the pain of my overall body pain that is usually a head to toe daily updated report.  the pain in my hips, bursa, back and so on is not as bad.......not as bad by a large number.  part of it is from the current illness of bronchitis/sinusitis and another part of the relief is coming from the cortisone shop in my hip plus the prednisone course i'm on.

so boring, but when it happens within our own bodies, the ones we can't escape or take a leave of absence from it matters.

got the dishwasher going.......but gonna wait on laundry.  stiill watching rockford files....noticed an outfit on one of the episodes that was almost identical to one i used to have.  tall suede boots, a mid calf length skirt....and a pretty little jacket that accentuated a once tiny waist........late seventies.  not all of the fashion was disco crazy, some of it was pretty good!

did you know i used to skate along the bike trails next to the beach in Santa Barbara?  race like the wind.......knock the cob webs and frustrations of life out......on a gorgeous day watching the waves hit west beach.  ........i miss the sun, sand and surf.....and the youthful energy.  the feeling of immortality.......a time before i got too engrossed in minutae.......and just enjoyed being in the moment.

gotta recapture that.......i think i refound it there for awhile but here lately i've been stuck in an old worn out groove.  maybe i can get better enough to be lighter of spirit.....happier of heart......find some joy.  i got a joy ornament on that recent mountain trip, it's very simple......golden metal and pretty ribbon......just the word "JOY" ....it gleams and reminds me to seek joy daily.  but when the illness claims us it's hard to see all the details in the rest of the world, even right here within my own little nest.

i don't notice much at all.....just padding through the house wishing for a caretaker....someone to read to me and wistfully wish to be tucked in.  someone to make a little bit of comfy life noise around here to ease the emptiness of a life on my own.  i try to make peace with it.....i promise i do.  try to not get to whacko about the way it is.....but this is an in between moment just for these pages.

i am grateful to be clean and shiny.....to have a lovely warm nutritious meal.....to have kooky little cats who climb all over me and beg relentlessly for kitty crack food in a can.......at least that's what i think must be in it....something akin to crack cause they both go nutso when they hear the sound of the pop top popping.......especially Rio......he cries like he's on fire for food.

ok itls getting dull sorry bout that......but i am also grateful to be sitting up in this chair, to have a better sense of awareness than i've had in the last ten days...........and yet i'm also coughing too much so it's time to settle back into my bed nest.....under the softest blue blankie in the world....surrounded by blues. blue pillows in varying shades.......so pretty.  stay as calm as you can my dear.......stay in a place of good heartedness......let the warmth of friendship warm you on this day.  i love you and i know how precious you are.......night night!