group project

I've let my problems screw things up and my head is spinning right now.
I decided to take on an assignment using a programming language that I didn't know, figuring that since I'm so smart it would be easy to both learn the language and do the project.  Unfortunately, I'm incapable of working on something unless I already know what I'm doing, because it has to be perfect the first time, but I can't do the project without knowing the language.  I want to cut, but it's not going to change the date or time, so I know it won't actually help anything.  This whole thing has made me second guess computer science as my degree, I don't think I can stand to do this for years and years.  But then again, I can't see myself doing anything for years and years, it's hard to be motivated to do anything for your future when all you want to do is die.  All I do right now it try my best to appear to be attempting something, create a person who has a plan that I can explain in great detail to family, friends and peers.  I don't even know who I am anymore, or did I ever know me..