Growth

Apparently, suffering is a part of growth.  Well, here I go again but I wonder just how much suffering growth a being has to go through before enough is enough.  Surely there are more pleasant ways to grow too.  The balance sheet of my life is heavy on the suffering aspect.  I am very kind and intelligent and have come through hell from the day I was born.  I am 62 now and learning at the speed of light but life continues to throw those curve balls.  For the past 3 years my health has wrecked havoc on my life and continues to escalate and become more and more difficult to cope with. 
However, I will do the best I can with the most positive attitude I can muster as I deal with this new phrenic/vagus nerve palsy that is affecting my ability to breathe and get sufficient oxygen and filling my body with even more severe pain than the fibromyalgia already does. 
I am removing the thought "I want to kill something about now" from my negative pain thinking.  I am replacing that with "things are gonna get better soon."  There, I feel better already. 
Hugs and gratitude to all of you here on DS for your kind support and hugs as I go through this.   :)