Grief affects us in different forms - my realization!

Grief affects each of us differently and in different forms.  I wasn't crying for the last four days and wasn't feeling too bad.  Today I got angry at my brother and couldn't figure it out.  Any eye opener from one of my Daily Strength buddies.  This is part of the grief process that some of us experience.  After I tried to think why, was feeling bad and then I started crying.  I know the tears are for my late-husband Smokey.  After that realization, I just started to bawl.  I wouldn't think of anger as part of the grief when you are not crying.  When you keep it inside, grief manifests in different forms and for me it was anger.  Go figure!  I really miss Smokey.  I still don't know how I am going to go on living without him.  Sometimes I still wonder if I can go on without him.  Smokey always said that when he is dead, he wants me to find someone else and be happy.  He really emphasized this to me.  Smokey was a man of few words so what he said out loud he really meant.  For me, Smokey is irreplaceable.  There is no one like him.  I loved him so very much and vice-versa.  Smokey always told me "You don't know how deep my love is for you."  That is not bad for a man of few words.  They had deep impact to my heart and soul.