Great day yesterday... today me turn out to be a shit show...
Ok so yesterday was our one year anniversary and it was great really. We slept in for a little bit then I had to get up and get ready for this job interview I went for. (I think I nailed it ...hopefully) Then we out to the Olive Garden for dinner and had a couple drinks at our normal hangout.
(He is trying to eat as much of his favorite takeout stuff before he knows he won't be able to get for awhile)
Today the parents and us are going to sit down have a talk about the the house me and my husband are currently living in. My parents are pretty much going to be homeless unless they move in with me. My dad is recovering from back surgery still and his job said that with his restrictions for lifting they don't have a job for him. My mom luckily got a temp job for at least the next 2 months. my sister is working two jobs to help out my parents. So the plan in to have them move in because then they could at least help me to pay a little bit of money to ease the burden of my hubby's parents.
Of course his mom gets on the phone with me and is like are you going to be able to handle living with your parents again? (In my mind I am thinking I will be damned if i am going to allow my parents to be homeless even if it might be difficult ot live together. That just isn't right. ) Then his mom is like this house is still your guys house and stuff. I was like they are fully in understanding of that. I mean you know things have to be bad when a mom swallows her pride and asks fore help of her oldest daughter if they could move in. I mean it isn't like my parents are expecting to live here for free or anything. They just cant affordtheir apartment.
They even went down to see if they could get some assistance. My dad only gets 200/wk not enough to cover rent and do you want to know what they told him? . . . .
We can't help you but here is a list of shelters. Are FUCKING kidding me that is some major bullshit. Then I have to deal with my mother in law who is going to drive to flipping drink because hell she took care of her brother for like 2 yrs before he got onto disability but you are going to have a caniption over the fact that parents need help? She says that she doesn't want them to be all like oh well this is broken or something like when you move into an apt.
I just don't think she gets the fact that they aren't wanting to move in because they want to but they have no other choice. I mean damn ya know. This is going to be a big ordeal a bigger one than it truly needs to be and I am afraid that I will go soooo upset I am going to want to throw something like a bottle at the floor or something. May the gods give me strength to keep my cool and not kill anyone. Will let everyone know how it goes afterwards.
(He is trying to eat as much of his favorite takeout stuff before he knows he won't be able to get for awhile)
Today the parents and us are going to sit down have a talk about the the house me and my husband are currently living in. My parents are pretty much going to be homeless unless they move in with me. My dad is recovering from back surgery still and his job said that with his restrictions for lifting they don't have a job for him. My mom luckily got a temp job for at least the next 2 months. my sister is working two jobs to help out my parents. So the plan in to have them move in because then they could at least help me to pay a little bit of money to ease the burden of my hubby's parents.
Of course his mom gets on the phone with me and is like are you going to be able to handle living with your parents again? (In my mind I am thinking I will be damned if i am going to allow my parents to be homeless even if it might be difficult ot live together. That just isn't right. ) Then his mom is like this house is still your guys house and stuff. I was like they are fully in understanding of that. I mean you know things have to be bad when a mom swallows her pride and asks fore help of her oldest daughter if they could move in. I mean it isn't like my parents are expecting to live here for free or anything. They just cant affordtheir apartment.
They even went down to see if they could get some assistance. My dad only gets 200/wk not enough to cover rent and do you want to know what they told him? . . . .
We can't help you but here is a list of shelters. Are FUCKING kidding me that is some major bullshit. Then I have to deal with my mother in law who is going to drive to flipping drink because hell she took care of her brother for like 2 yrs before he got onto disability but you are going to have a caniption over the fact that parents need help? She says that she doesn't want them to be all like oh well this is broken or something like when you move into an apt.
I just don't think she gets the fact that they aren't wanting to move in because they want to but they have no other choice. I mean damn ya know. This is going to be a big ordeal a bigger one than it truly needs to be and I am afraid that I will go soooo upset I am going to want to throw something like a bottle at the floor or something. May the gods give me strength to keep my cool and not kill anyone. Will let everyone know how it goes afterwards.
Replies
I totally get what you are saying. You cannot turn your parents away, and your MIL probably can\'t fathom being in that position.
There is no help out there for people that were working, but now are on leave because of an injury. Not unless they did it at work. My friend is losing everything, hasn\'t had a penny since November. She is recuperating and could be trying now, but her depression got the best of her. I am about up to my eyeballs with her, but she isn\'t family. Family has been there for you all your life, and yea you have to help them. That woman (MIL) should have to experience that. Wouldn\'t you love to see that right now?
Oh, congrats on thinking you did good on the interview, at least that, and your anniversary went ok, except then all of this.
My guy never gets time before he goes in, always gets taken the minute they arrest him, but on the way home when he gets out, we hit Old Country Buffet or Taco Bell. Things he has missed.
You sure didn\'t need this right now. I say, you just take your folks in, that woman can be quiet. Your husband may have to tell her so. They will see it is working out in time. They will see the house is fine.
Maybe this is how his mom is reacting not because of the parents moving in, but the tension of her son going to prison. Think about that. I was the mom sending my son away, but it was all about his gf, and his kids, and I accepted that, but it hurt. BUT sounds like this mom in law is really a pain in the ass. I never was.
Oh my! You are doing the right thing by standing by your family. It sounds kinda odd to me that your mum in law is trying to make this harder then it needs to be i hope it works out!
I hope you get the job it might make things a bit easer for you for when he dos go in.
Congrats on your annversy at least you got to spend it togther.
Thanx Ihatewisconsin and suchaslife.... everything went better than I had expected. had it not been for the hubby stepping and saying that they are family and he would prefer them to stay with me since they could offer emotional support while he was away and that I would be safe. Ya know living on my own and stuff. His mom kept trying to get an amount of my parents to get an idea how much they could pay and he said they arent in a position right now to say but that they would give what they could.
I almost cried because I know that it isn\'t easy asking for help especially in this type of situation. I mean I am not on the deed so really she coudld kick me out and stuff ya know cause my name isn\'t on paperwork or anything. I
Thanx Ihatewisconsin and suchaslife.... everything went better than I had expected. had it not been for the hubby stepping and saying that they are family and he would prefer them to stay with me since they could offer emotional support while he was away and that I would be safe. Ya know living on my own and stuff. His mom kept trying to get an amount of my parents to get an idea how much they could pay and he said they arent in a position right now to say but that they would give what they could.
I almost cried because I know that it isn\'t easy asking for help especially in this type of situation. I mean I am not on the deed so really she coudld kick me out and stuff ya know cause my name isn\'t on paperwork or anything. I
Thanx Ihatewisconsin and suchaslife.... everything went better than I had expected. had it not been for the hubby stepping and saying that they are family and he would prefer them to stay with me since they could offer emotional support while he was away and that I would be safe. Ya know living on my own and stuff. His mom kept trying to get an amount of my parents to get an idea how much they could pay and he said they arent in a position right now to say but that they would give what they could.
I almost cried because I know that it isn\'t easy asking for help especially in this type of situation. I mean I am not on the deed so really she coudld kick me out and stuff ya know cause my name isn\'t on paperwork or anything. I
It went beter than expected. I was worried cause his mom kept askng what they could afford to pay and had it not been for my husband putting into persepective that it was either this or a shelter I don\'t think she wouldn\'ve understood the seriousness. They are stand up people in trying to work but between my dad getting back surgery and then my mom being diagnosied with a medical thing it is hard to deal with work. My sister works two jobs to pay for her bills and stuff and to try to help out but it just isn\'t enough.
I know it is going to be a struggle to maintain my sanity if I get a job right away but I have no choice really. Ya know. I can;t allow my parents to live in the street and i refuse to allow us to lose the house. He wants to come to this house when gets out and if I can do anything to make sure he has a home to come to then by the gods I will do whatever is in my power...
I am just happt I have him right now because his mom understood what he was saying and I am honestly blessed to have in my life. Not sure what I would do without him... taking life in stride and enjoying all that he is going to miss while he is away.... thanks again for positive words from everyone. ^_^
Your welcome!
He did the right thing by saying that to them iam happy that it went well for you guys.
Like you ive gotta work my man wants to come home to this house as well. The job will help to keep you bisse when he gos in but dont push your selfe to hard its going be hard when he gos in.
Enjoy the time you guys have got togther!
Huggggsss me
I am glad it turned out ok. And really proud of him for standing up for you and your parents. And it will give him some peace knowing that you are not alone, to go through this.
I think you are a very special lady. You are a great daughter, and wife. And if this job works out, maybe it is a blessing. It will distract you for a few hours a day.
I had to go to work a few weeks after mine left. You learn to shut off your thoughts for awhile if you have other things to focus on. I am sure he is very proud of you too. I am, and I only know you on here.
You will have lots of tough days, but knowing you are not going home to an empty house will help. Emmy is my therapy. I go get her alot to ease my depression. I live through how I can make her days better. I live to give her lasting memories of her special times with her Grandma, like my Grandma did with me.
What you are doing is wonderful, and necessary for your parents and for you too. Don\'t ever let anyone tell you it is wrong. You sound like you have very special family members that stand up for each other. That\'s the way it should be.
You have a mission, a purpose. That will help you get through all of this.
I am glad it turned out ok. And really proud of him for standing up for you and your parents. And it will give him some peace knowing that you are not alone, to go through this.
I think you are a very special lady. You are a great daughter, and wife. And if this job works out, maybe it is a blessing. It will distract you for a few hours a day.
I had to go to work a few weeks after mine left. You learn to shut off your thoughts for awhile if you have other things to focus on. I am sure he is very proud of you too. I am, and I only know you on here.
You will have lots of tough days, but knowing you are not going home to an empty house will help. Emmy is my therapy. I go get her alot to ease my depression. I live through how I can make her days better. I live to give her lasting memories of her special times with her Grandma, like my Grandma did with me.
What you are doing is wonderful, and necessary for your parents and for you too. Don\'t ever let anyone tell you it is wrong. You sound like you have very special family members that stand up for each other. That\'s the way it should be.
You have a mission, a purpose. That will help you get through all of this.
I am glad it turned out ok. And really proud of him for standing up for you and your parents. And it will give him some peace knowing that you are not alone, to go through this.
I think you are a very special lady. You are a great daughter, and wife. And if this job works out, maybe it is a blessing. It will distract you for a few hours a day.
I had to go to work a few weeks after mine left. You learn to shut off your thoughts for awhile if you have other things to focus on. I am sure he is very proud of you too. I am, and I only know you on here.
You will have lots of tough days, but knowing you are not going home to an empty house will help. Emmy is my therapy. I go get her alot to ease my depression. I live through how I can make her days better. I live to give her lasting memories of her special times with her Grandma, like my Grandma did with me.
What you are doing is wonderful, and necessary for your parents and for you too. Don\'t ever let anyone tell you it is wrong. You sound like you have very special family members that stand up for each other. That\'s the way it should be.
You have a mission, a purpose. That will help you get through all of this.
I am glad it turned out ok. And really proud of him for standing up for you and your parents. And it will give him some peace knowing that you are not alone, to go through this.
I think you are a very special lady. You are a great daughter, and wife. And if this job works out, maybe it is a blessing. It will distract you for a few hours a day.
I had to go to work a few weeks after mine left. You learn to shut off your thoughts for awhile if you have other things to focus on. I am sure he is very proud of you too. I am, and I only know you on here.
You will have lots of tough days, but knowing you are not going home to an empty house will help. Emmy is my therapy. I go get her alot to ease my depression. I live through how I can make her days better. I live to give her lasting memories of her special times with her Grandma, like my Grandma did with me.
What you are doing is wonderful, and necessary for your parents and for you too. Don\'t ever let anyone tell you it is wrong. You sound like you have very special family members that stand up for each other. That\'s the way it should be.
You have a mission, a purpose. That will help you get through all of this.
I am glad it turned out ok. And really proud of him for standing up for you and your parents. And it will give him some peace knowing that you are not alone, to go through this.
I think you are a very special lady. You are a great daughter, and wife. And if this job works out, maybe it is a blessing. It will distract you for a few hours a day.
I had to go to work a few weeks after mine left. You learn to shut off your thoughts for awhile if you have other things to focus on. I am sure he is very proud of you too. I am, and I only know you on here.
You will have lots of tough days, but knowing you are not going home to an empty house will help. Emmy is my therapy. I go get her alot to ease my depression. I live through how I can make her days better. I live to give her lasting memories of her special times with her Grandma, like my Grandma did with me.
What you are doing is wonderful, and necessary for your parents and for you too. Don\'t ever let anyone tell you it is wrong. You sound like you have very special family members that stand up for each other. That\'s the way it should be.
You have a mission, a purpose. That will help you get through all of this.
OMG this stupid thing. It wouldn\'t connect, or so I thought. Now look what it did. It made it repeat over and over again. Sorry!
Lol wisconsin no worries I find that it does that same thing to me too lol
Thank you for the awesome words. I am still kind of emotional about it because as a child you always believe that your parents can handle everything like superheros. It was hard to hear them open up about everything that was going on and took a lot of courage for them to talk about it. I am happy it went better than expected and that my husband step in and told his mom that of course they won\'t live here forever and that they will try to pay something. But it is hard to talk about money and how much you can possibly pay when you have none. She was not getting it and I was getting annoyed but I kept my cool and he took the reins so I wouldn\'t have to. It is one of the reasons I love him so much always helping others to put things into perspective. family is such a large part of who we are that if you can\'t help out family who can you help?
Suchaslife I am realistic about having an emotional rollercoaster ride when he leaves but my goal is to make sure I can keep this house. I mean he has lived here since he was like 5 so it has a lot of history for him too. The work will keep me busy and originally I was going to take my parents cats anyway for a lil companionship but having my parents and sister will be good too.
I knew he worried about me and he actually voiced when he was explaining that he wants them to move in because then I won\'t be alone, it help motivate me to get up and leave the house and it would help out the his family to keep the house. I nearly lost it when he said that. I love this man and instead of worrying about what he is facing he is worried more about me with him not around. It is just crazy. Thanks again ladies for the praise and uplifting words. Hugs lots. ^_^