gratitude journal
I don't know what possesses me to do this but the bright side is that I seem to function at work - though at times I am undermined by my internal process so that I think I might sound abrupt or uncaring. I try and keep focused on the work - to show that I am earnest - but I can't socialize too much. it's my limit. I might come off as strange..
I find that at times I am affected by external interactions - like with customers who get a little aggressive - and I try and not let it get to me - but then also I am affected by things within me - forces - that can't always be processed on the spot. So it's like a leap into detachment and a kind of insanity..I seem to be able to keep functioning. Keep it focused which is good.
When I come home sometimes I get lost... like today. But writing helps. I wish I didn't have to do this. It might be needed by others and would be seen/ evidenced on Dailystrength.org
I guess processing in my own individual way is what I am doing.
An idea that has be knocking at my mind lately is that I am starting to realize and be ok with interactions with individuals. What I mean by that is - that not everyone is going to like me - and so I 'get on' with one but maybe not the other. Likewise - in vein with the kind of thought - my life is not a movie - a thought that steadies me to see realistically the course and direction of my life. And gives a reminder to be grateful for the good things.
I really seem to change a lot. I guess it's just 'life.' (or my life) Writing this really helped me. I very much appreciate it. I still may not be that strong - but I am holding on to
gratitude and acceptance as much as I can.
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