grateful to be home

I left work today feeling exuberant and just thrilled.

Had a good day at work and also I tried to be more social than

usual. I know this is an area that I struggle with. On this site

not so much but I have messed up. I had conversation with my Dad yesterday -

and he gave me a concept to think about when I struggled socially.

I have to say it helped me be 'ok' with what each individual served up

today and to also have a kind of healthy respect for the life each one of

us working away at while considering my own sense. Different agendas and different goals.

My one coworker who is a real spastic guy, but funny and sweet, has a tendency

to push everyone's buttons. He's just that way. It's how he copes with his nerves

and what he serves up to get along. It's ok though, it has annoyed me before and I struggled with it but I was at peace to accept it today - and was reminded that

we each serve up something - and can't always meet at the same agenda. When we do it's 

nice and appreciated but it's but moments that happen like that hunh?

I left work feeling energized and joyful and a part of me can get really swept away by feelings.

Not knowing how to contextualize myself in the world is a big challenge for me in the car.

I struggle to know what is my focus.

That being said - it's also in part me letting loose

after being on my feet for 4.5 hours. But still it's a dangerous thing as i am driving a car.
When I got into my car today, I literally thought there were no other people in the parking lot.
She must have been right behind me.

When I got into my car I flashed a look in the rearview mirror - but didn't see anyone.

So, I pulled out of the parking spot and looked back and realized I almost hit this young woman.
She was startled and flipped me the bird for a good long time. I rolled down the window and try to

apologize and she kept flippin'-  as usual it really got to me - but I also realized that we each serve

something up - I know how each of us does good and bad, mistakes and well dones. :)
I thought about what life was serving up and that focus that my friends have at the monastery came to me.

Before each of them drives a car- they cross themselves for the journey and it gives a focus. A relatability to the moment.

I'm not suggesting a blindness to life, but a focus, a point of departure for seeing what life is serving up

for knowing how I am relating and keeping in an awakeness and consciousness.

It just helped me -and I think I am going to put a cross, that the Abbess gave me, on my rearview mirror.

just a reminder to not get so exuberant (or at least channel it) when let loose from work or wherever.