grateful
So grateful for my life. I am so lucky and live beautifully. Have a wonderful family and friends. I woke up slowly this morning and had coffee and juice in bed. It was so peaceful and nice and beautiful with the warm bright sunrise filling the room.
I then didn’t quite no which direction to go but just put one foot in front of the other and did. A lesson from the other day came back to me. Take care of the essentials. And so slowly I am. I thought about basic relationships in life as I’ve been inspired to do so now that my parents are on vacation and I am alone. I thought then on a level that I didn’t know how to be smart in life but again I thought about taking care of the essentials and then thought to have people in my life who help me take care of the essentials. It so makes sense and I’ll get better at it with time. I think I was so caught up in having a vision in my life to fulfill but now I muddled through and have a greater confidence and sense of what to do just in terms of the basics. Grace was very emphasized growing up - but the need or my need to have things broken
down into basic ideas was something missed. As a creative person very often I thought I should have a visual roadmap in my head for knowing or feelings reassured about what I do with my time and day - but the value of essentials
and just building momentum is galvinizing my view and focus on essentials.
Now I am relaxing on the couch waiting for an appointment. It's curious now as the day moves along I become in touch with different kinds of feelings,
different ways of seeing things as the day progresses
...but I have to remind myself to keep on with the essentials
as well. :) That's a good target to focus on! :)
Replies
"I didn’t know how to be smart in life"
that line got me thinking of forrest gump and the millions that lucky retard made doing nothing more than taking care of the essentials. what does smart have to do with it? equally, there is no shortage of geniuses buried in pauper's graves.
yea, i figure i'll be able to ply my creative nature to that road map to the future as soon as i gain the skill to predict the future. i have plenty of hard evidence that i have zero soothsaying talent. i get lucky and guess right sometimes, but my batting average is disgustingly low.
I hear you arfie. I am super neurotic right now and so not so fully self possessed - it's super hot here and I think that is affecting me too.
I think the smarts in life seem to be taking care of the essentials and not getting derailed by incoming forces -
and then also taking care of relationships - and our needs -
Earlier today, after my therapy session I was feeling so focused and clear. Life indeed is about taking care of life
and that is what our society is structured for. I used to find life or the options so vanilla and unattractive - everything
in america seemed to be about just working hard and then consuming.I now am less myopic in my vision - and maybe my values too - I know there's more out there - my imagination and my emotional status didn't help me - I definitely like helping the Tree People and that's meaningful - and then also the upcoming museum volunteership. My life is
my life :) I like what has come into my life and what I have sought out and am developing . I am grateful!!
Relationships too...which I often felt deprived for my own set of mental health status.
But also this morning after I felt so focused - at the suggestion of my therapist - she said 'try to enjoy life a little today.. luxuriate" and so I tried NOT to make my luxuriation about numbing out and eating lol but then as I set down to nap on the couch - my mind went big picture again to that idea of "What is OUT THERE??!!"- rather than see it in the focus of
taking care of life.... It comes to me, I also have needs - being alone all the time is very enjoyable at times but others times I get nervous - and so very often I spin negative rather than positive about
the task at hand - it's nearly second nature and not good - so I am trying to redirect myself to being aware of that - and so trying to set out for
choosing the calm and positive. Anyways just the heat got to me today - and ill chosen I had a beer - I'm feeling neurotic.
I don't think we can predict but I think we can stay on the path 'one step at a time' and make experiential arithmetic! :)
Keep seeing the next step as 2 plus 2 equals.... :)