grace and survival
we may want to live in the grace we prefer -
and we may reinforce ourselves with grace to buffer the slings
and arrows of life...stoically find solace in ideas and disposition
but then we must also live in the realities of human relationships,
survival and hierarchy and not just acting as we feel but acting in terms of objectively what's
best for ourselves and the others.
a friend from Canada sent me a reading by Patricia Routeledge
of a chapter in the Bible.
It really struck me as beautiful - and I liked the grace of it, it comforted me
when thinking about the harsh realities of life - the words and the reader gave me a sense
of sanctuary and peace.
I was noticing yesterday while driving that I either am selfless or totally wrapped up in my own sense of grace and things (perhaps that buffering sense of stoicism or just philosophy to help me stay in my own lane.)
. I’m seeing now it’s a two way street and in that I am trying to not be so extreme.
I know it’s frightening to expose myself and I need to be self protective but also I need to be considerate too. I felt like I wasn’t so considerate today, I’ll aim for better. When I go with how I feel is not always a good answer.
I have a great number of blessings to be thankful for.
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did you know that facebook no longer allows access to the not-logged-in? my sign in yaddah blahs are still available, but? ? ? is it worth jumping the hoops to chase them down? this burnt out tech warhorse has demoted herself to stubborn jackass. my age gives you plenty of justification to compare me to my technophobic siblings. one name call is as good as another.
the monsignor who gave me the courage to reveal my troubled herstory to his flock of sheep insisted that the grace of god has nothing to do with my social anxiety. god loves child prostitutes with equal intensity as he loves the socially gifted children who stuffed me in the playground trash can. even that disgusting piece of white trash had a great number of blessings to be thankful for.
are you surprised that he appears to be right?
i'm still trusting god guide me through the yaddahs of my socially unacceptable blahs.
those leaps of faith still frighten me every time, but my invisible friend has caught me every time. how's that for grace? far more impressive than i've ever gotten from my fellow humans. the monsignor was better than most humans, but? ? ? in my heart, i believe the monsignor would forgive me if he knew, but? ? ? i'm not so sure he could forgive me so easily for missing church for so many years in a row. that's okay. that funny talking irishman never denied his human flaws on my watch.
I agree that the passage and the reading of it are very peaceful. Can't help but think of Hyacinth Bucket ("It's Bouquet") when I hear her, though. : ) Thanks for sharing! Hugs.
thanks arfie! you are beautiful and special! to me, god doesn't mind all the pomp and ceremony being missed.
(((peace)))
thanks Judy!! :)
i feel that, mark. the monsignor is a bit more human.
peace, love and flower power.