got to keep on keeping on- singin' to myself!
can't be passive with myself!
I was really going down the path of least resistance there -
and realizing I hated myself and my life, after my Uncle
said to me (who is 94 years old) - "You got to be able to look at
yourself in the mirror in the later years, and acheivements aside, you want to be able to
say to yourself I have been a good person"
It really impacted me when he said that. It was so poignant to hear it
from a person who is maybe living his last few years? I hope he lives to at least 110!
But it made me look at myself and feel all sorts of discomfort and upset over my health
path - and yet I know I am the only one who can pump myself up to keep on keeping on!
I mean you guys do a lot for me - but I know and remembered I can't passive with myself.
I'm here in my room and I've got to pick myself up - and pump myself up!
I hope you guys are feeling happy and contented and like you can look back
and say "All things considered, I did ok." - I am having a hard time with that one -
but there's stuff to do here in the present. I'll run down to the chapel for a little bit. Then I've got therapy at 345p!
Replies
perhaps the most wicked ass-bite i receive from being a natural-born questioner is that i question myself more harshly and deeply than i question anything/one else on the planet. when some well-meaning soul, such as a patriarchal uncle, encourages me to question myself, i go a bit more haywire than the well-meaning soul intended.
am i a good person? let's cross an elephant and a rhinoceros. elifino. . . let me answer a question with a question. who is judging?
i am therapeutically conditioned to settle for knowing i did the best i could with what i had to work with.
Thanks Arfie!! You rock!!