Got Stuff for Geo
Today I went to Blockbuster and got some Blu-Rays for Geo. I'm going to go tomorrow or Wednesday to In-N-Out to get some burgers for him as well. Geo should be lucky I'm doing this for him. I got a good deal on the Blu-Rays, but I could have gotten them cheaper at another store. Oh well. I just wanted to get him something, and he would prefer food and movies rather than trinkets and magnets. If that's what he wants to remember my trip to LA by, then so be it. I just want to get him something he wants. I also went to my brother's house to get my old Renaissance dress, but we couldn't find it. It made me sad that I couldn't find it... it was something that I really wanted to get. I don't know where else it could be... It was in a box in a tool shed in my brother's backyard, and it's not there anymore. I guess I'm a bit depressed because I can't find it. It was my favorite dress... I would wear it even not to the Ren Fair.
I'm also a bit down because I just called my aunt and Nana and told them that I can't make it out there on Wednesday. I wish I could, but it's just not a good idea for me to go up there the day before I leave and not get back until 9:45pm or later when I have to be up the next day at 3:30 or so in the morning. One, I need too much sleep, and two, I wouldn't have the time to double check to make sure I packed everything. I would have to leave first thing in the morning, and then not get home until late at night, so it's just not a good idea. I miss my Nana terribly, but I don't want to be there when it's time for her to take her pills since she always fights with my aunt about it, and that's not the last memory I want to have of my Nana. As it is, I saw her crying the last time I went up there because my aunt made a crass remark (crass but true) about her not wanting to take her pills.
I wish there was a way I could drive up there on my own, but I can't drive. Plus, I don't have a car. I would wish I could go up there and see her, but the only way to do it is in a car. I don't think my stepdad wants to drive up there again. I feel bad for wanting to ask, since he has his own stuff he needs to take care of during the day. He's been going over my brother's house to tear down a fence that was broken in a windstorm that they had here in December. I'm just down today overall. There was so much that I wanted to do while I was here that I didn't get to do. Tomorrow I'm going out for my birthday dinner with my stepdad (by the way, thanks for the birthday wishes... it's on Friday). I'm celebrating with everyone early since I won't be here on my actual birthday. I get to go to my favorite Thai restaurant here in LA.
Mood today was down... I didn't find my dress, I had to say no to my Nana... just a bunch of stuff that I would rather not have happened happened. I did get to see some of my old pictures and stuff from when I was in elementary school and high school... I have to go home and scan in this picture I have from when I was 5... I was the cutest thing ever! I'm still pretty, but this is just adorable cute. I also found my old high school diploma... now if I need to lie about not having a college education to get a job I have something to show that I graduated high school. I would take my diploma from USC to jobs, but I didn't like doing that since I had to take it on the road with me. One time I left my entire folder on the train, USC diploma included. I had to take the train back and get it at a station when they found it. I was so worried I was going to lose it forever.
Food today actually was good, despite me eating things to make it bad. I had leftover cake for breakfast, a churro and chicken wrap for lunch, and to make up for it, a salad for dinner. I just had some lettuce and balsamic vinegarette dressing. I thought I was going to be way over my calories, but I am within all my ranges. I just had a lot of sugar today. I think tomorrow I'm going to go a bit more low-key with my food. I might have a piece of cake, but I'm going to try and save my calories for dinner. I have a couple pieces of cake left, and my stepdad can't eat them since he's diabetic. Stress today was moderate... I was a bit stressed out going through all my the stuff in my brother's backyard looking for the dress and not finding it... I loved that dress and I really do hope that we can find it someday. Sleep last night was good.. I woke up early this morning and felt great, just had stuff during the day bring me down a bit.
I'm also a bit down because I just called my aunt and Nana and told them that I can't make it out there on Wednesday. I wish I could, but it's just not a good idea for me to go up there the day before I leave and not get back until 9:45pm or later when I have to be up the next day at 3:30 or so in the morning. One, I need too much sleep, and two, I wouldn't have the time to double check to make sure I packed everything. I would have to leave first thing in the morning, and then not get home until late at night, so it's just not a good idea. I miss my Nana terribly, but I don't want to be there when it's time for her to take her pills since she always fights with my aunt about it, and that's not the last memory I want to have of my Nana. As it is, I saw her crying the last time I went up there because my aunt made a crass remark (crass but true) about her not wanting to take her pills.
I wish there was a way I could drive up there on my own, but I can't drive. Plus, I don't have a car. I would wish I could go up there and see her, but the only way to do it is in a car. I don't think my stepdad wants to drive up there again. I feel bad for wanting to ask, since he has his own stuff he needs to take care of during the day. He's been going over my brother's house to tear down a fence that was broken in a windstorm that they had here in December. I'm just down today overall. There was so much that I wanted to do while I was here that I didn't get to do. Tomorrow I'm going out for my birthday dinner with my stepdad (by the way, thanks for the birthday wishes... it's on Friday). I'm celebrating with everyone early since I won't be here on my actual birthday. I get to go to my favorite Thai restaurant here in LA.
Mood today was down... I didn't find my dress, I had to say no to my Nana... just a bunch of stuff that I would rather not have happened happened. I did get to see some of my old pictures and stuff from when I was in elementary school and high school... I have to go home and scan in this picture I have from when I was 5... I was the cutest thing ever! I'm still pretty, but this is just adorable cute. I also found my old high school diploma... now if I need to lie about not having a college education to get a job I have something to show that I graduated high school. I would take my diploma from USC to jobs, but I didn't like doing that since I had to take it on the road with me. One time I left my entire folder on the train, USC diploma included. I had to take the train back and get it at a station when they found it. I was so worried I was going to lose it forever.
Food today actually was good, despite me eating things to make it bad. I had leftover cake for breakfast, a churro and chicken wrap for lunch, and to make up for it, a salad for dinner. I just had some lettuce and balsamic vinegarette dressing. I thought I was going to be way over my calories, but I am within all my ranges. I just had a lot of sugar today. I think tomorrow I'm going to go a bit more low-key with my food. I might have a piece of cake, but I'm going to try and save my calories for dinner. I have a couple pieces of cake left, and my stepdad can't eat them since he's diabetic. Stress today was moderate... I was a bit stressed out going through all my the stuff in my brother's backyard looking for the dress and not finding it... I loved that dress and I really do hope that we can find it someday. Sleep last night was good.. I woke up early this morning and felt great, just had stuff during the day bring me down a bit.
Replies
I am so sorry that you could not see your Nana one more time. And then not finding the dress....hopefully it will show up one day. Enjoy your last week and travel safely back home!
I forgot to suggest that you scan your diplomas and print copies to take with you on job interviews. That way they stay safe. HUGS!
that is to bad about not seeing nana, but you are doing what you feel is best for you and that is what you should do. that is so awesome you can say and feel you are pretty, such great self esteem, i wish i thought as you do. how did you get the self esteem about yourself? and yes, you are pretty. shame about the dress, i hate it when i cant find something with extra meaning, i get so sad, i hope it will turn up. it appears you are having a great birthday, i love those extended birthdays! i hope your mood is better today filled with positives!
Its so sad to not be able to have something that had so many memories for you i hope someone can find the dress at some point. I too have lost many things with so much meaning... we lost our whole house in a flood one year.... all my childhood photos, all my moms things (my mom past away when i was a teen), all my kids things from when they was growing up.... i understand how not having something with memories can hurt so bad.
Try not to let it get to you that you cant go to your Nanas on Wed.... with leaving and everything you have to do its going to be stressful and rushing would add alot to the stress. Could you call and talk to her on the phone for some extra time? I know its not the same. If you decide to ask your step father to make the trip ..i would just let him know that if he dont feel he can then you totally understand...the worst thing he could say is no he just couldnt do it which is ok too.
Awwww so cute cant wait to see that 5 yr old pic neattttt! Have a good day enjoy your dinner out.
Happy Birthday enjoy your celebration.
It\'s sad you can\'t see your nana before you leave but you are doing what is best for you.
I do hope your favorite dress shows up. it still may ..
have a safe trip home