Googling your symptoms is always a bad idea...a lesson I thought I had learned already

(Written 1/9)I wish they would allow you to edit your journal entries so I can put updates on the journal entries I've already written.  I know they used to allow you to do so but if they still do I can't figure out how.  So anyway, my last journal entry I was a bit zen and calm about everything but I am not so much anymore.  I made an appoiment which is unfortunately over 19 days away.  It was the soonest I could get in, I will continue to check daily because they may have a cancellation, like last time.  Ever since I made the appointment my worry has increased like making an appointment meant I had to acknowledge that there could be something very wrong with me. 

So the worry and anxiety built up in me until i finally broke down and went to google and did some research, which I know won't help anything but I don't know what else to do.  I clicked on an article that was title "Causes of Itchy Breast Beyond Breast Cancer." It seemed harmless enough, none of the benign causes seemed like a good fit and the two non-benign causes IBC and Pagets weren't exact fits either although I did have a fair amount of symptoms for both.  I have both warmth/pain and itchness some tingling although no lesions or pitted breasts or inverted nipple.  Nothing physcially drastic but the burning pain/pain and itchness is not normal there is definitely something going on.  I know better then to google my symptoms but I did anyway and it never helps.

Of course, now it is just a waiting game.  I am trying to rely on God and my faith but it is difficult and then I feel guilty.  I also have try to continue to be a good wife and mother inspite of the fact that I very anxious and upset a lot of the time.  I will try to stay off google because honestly it can't help me, I just need to wait for my appointment and see if I can find a sooner one in the meantime.

(Update 1/15)  So I finally figured out how to edit yeah me!  Also I wrote the above on the 9th and for some reason never posted it instead I just left it in my drafts by accident.  So six days later here I am again.  I still haven't found a closer appointment to see a doctor I have 13 days until the one I was able to secure. It is not soon enough.  The soonest they have now is the first week of feburary and for my new obgyn it is in March.  I could try calling because I am sure they leave appointments available for urgent issues and such but I hate talking to people and although I think it is urgent will they feel the same?  

Also on Sunday I had hope that maybe it was all going away because I had a whole morning where the breast tenderness was almost non-exsistent and I was spotting so I thought with the start of my period maybe just maybe it was all over.  Unfortunately by afternoon it was back.  It did get me thinking because I have had some spotting after my period is over and some ovary pain I was wondering if I might have an ovarian cyst and if that could mess up my hormone's enough to cause beast pain/tenderness and itchiness.  Plus my period was a bit early (but not by much) also it has been kind of light but I could be reading into it because BC scares me so much.

Another symptom which is starting to become on my radar more is I have been having this almost burning/warmth sensation in my breast and my underarms and the first thing i thought of was that it was my lymph nodes.  They are not swollen or anything and it is not constant but a couple times a day a senstation of warmth/burning will go through them.  So now I am worried that it is something truely serious for my lymph nodes to be involved.  I am tempted to look up what that could be indictive of but lets face it one of the things that will be listed will be cancer and that is the one I will zero in on.  

IDK honestly I know just enough to freak myself out with but not enough to know if I am worrying about nothing.  I am trying to gather up my courage and call tomorrow to see if they can get me in sooner.  Also I am afraid they will and I am afraid they won't.  I am afraid of what they will say or what they will not say, of what tests they will order or that they wont order any at all.  I am afraid.

I really need God to help me out and let me know what I should do.  I am trying to keep my faith strong and believe in God's plan for my life but in these waiting times it is hard  That's all I can think of for now but now that I know how to edit i can always add some more later.