goodbye to gambleing

Goodbye to gambling

My dear fried, my social life,my total obsession.  Goodbye to losing every paycheck and barley getting by. goodbye to digging up quarters to buy enough gas to work hours and hours of working and then taking it to a poker game or the casino and losing it sometimes in a matter of minutes.  I always thought I had control, I wanted to play I didn't want to quit and really didn't see how it was anyone elses business. Goodbye to the big wins. They were few and far between. I would brag and brag about how I won $6000 playing blackjack but fail to mention the other thousands that I lost. I won just enough to keep me hooked on the dream of really hitting it big!  OH the things I was going to do with that money. But in reality I have lost everything and am starting over with almost nothing. All my life savings, gone! Good bye to the lie to the false hope for the big dream come true. Now when I consider my obligations I no longer think well if I could win this much this weekend I can pay this bill and this bill.  Never facing the reality that not only will I not win to pay those bills but that I will lose my money and not pay anything.  Losing never entered my mind. I couldn't possibly lose this oftern I am definatley going to win tonight. Ha what a joke. What crazy thinking..Now i consider what I have and what I am going to keep and not give it to the casinos or my "friends" at the poker games. I actually have what I earn and no magic big win is coming my way.  Goodbye to lottey tickets that suduce you constanly, by the lottery machines that i have to look at all day in the bar I work in, the constant advertizing and at every check out counter at every store int the state. The mega millions is 400 million right now.  Always having that temptation taunting me, thinking but I could win. Good bye to that lie.  Their  motto is "someone is going to win, why not me" More lies to keep me hooked and buying.  But no more. Goodbye to all of the lies and arguments and promises that I never intended to keep. Good bye to lying to get money and promising it wasn't for gambling it was for some bill I had to pay right away.  Goodbye to the monster I became, the liar, the manipulator, the shadow of who I once was.I will greive the loss of my friend gambling and I will get through it and over it.  I have had  many losses and much greif but this time I am aware of the greif and I won't let it trap me for years. It's been 31 days since I've gambled and I feel better than I have in a long time. Not so with my other losses. This is a good loss and I will replace it with healthier non attictive things.  I have surrendered this to God and he has taken it from me. He has removed the desire to gamble which is a miracle considering the extent of my addiction. So goodbye gambling, I am done with you forever.