Good Trigger
I just came to the realization that triggers are not all bad. Mostly "triggers" refer to things that "set-off" bipolar symptoms, which is generally a bad thing when one is trying to find stability; however, I have found that when I have a low-stress social event to look forward to, I am generally a lot happier with positive thoughts and actions. Social events in general tend to set off my anxiety, especially if it's at a place I've never been, if there are new people, or if I have some sort of obligation like preparing food for a pot-luck. But today I am going to my second support group meeting and I am really looking forward to it. I'm not stressed out about leaving the house, or what I will wear... most of my thoughts are pretty happy (with the exception of my typical head-voice going over the list of "what-ifs".) My head voice is pretty much whispering though, so I'm not really focused on it. Hopefully this week's group will be better because I am only mildly manic instead of completely bouncing off the walls like I was last week.
All-in-all I'm feeling pretty good today. I had another migraine last night. I took my Relpax, which took away the nausea and made the pain bearable, but sounds still bothered me and it seemed to wear off faster than usual. I ended up smoking pot when the meds were no longer controlling it, which kept me relaxed, but of course I still didn't fall asleep until 2am. Sleep seems to be the cure, but falling asleep is still a problem.
I'm still looking forward to the day that I find a competent pdoc that will find the perfect balance of lifestyle, meds and therapy that's going to fix my broken head. Optimism is not something that comes to me naturally... maybe my partner is finally starting to rub off on me.
Speaking of Max... she's not feeling so well, today. It is my goal to stay positive today so that I can be a better caretaker in her time of need instead of her having to take care of me. I find that her life is much better when I am able to take care of myself, and it's a super-bonus when I can reach out and help take care of her. So today I am trying to channel Florence Nightingale.
All-in-all I'm feeling pretty good today. I had another migraine last night. I took my Relpax, which took away the nausea and made the pain bearable, but sounds still bothered me and it seemed to wear off faster than usual. I ended up smoking pot when the meds were no longer controlling it, which kept me relaxed, but of course I still didn't fall asleep until 2am. Sleep seems to be the cure, but falling asleep is still a problem.
I'm still looking forward to the day that I find a competent pdoc that will find the perfect balance of lifestyle, meds and therapy that's going to fix my broken head. Optimism is not something that comes to me naturally... maybe my partner is finally starting to rub off on me.
Speaking of Max... she's not feeling so well, today. It is my goal to stay positive today so that I can be a better caretaker in her time of need instead of her having to take care of me. I find that her life is much better when I am able to take care of myself, and it's a super-bonus when I can reach out and help take care of her. So today I am trying to channel Florence Nightingale.
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