Good to know
I find myself realizing that when I set my mind on an idea for a goal, the idea may seem interesting and yet then I question it and nearly one up myself thinking there might be something better out there, but what that better is is unknown to me and then I give up then I don’t think To continue on with my basic goal. Then I become sullen and resigned I have to make a leap and go for those things that I think might be interesting even if there is something better out there I should stay with one thing and see where that leads me and maybe the better goal goal will eventually reveal itself.
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In the mysteries of my broken brain, my niece of many names sprang to my mind as I read this, saying, "I don't especially like being married. I just like the weddings." She has the ex collection to prove it. Personally, I don't much like weddings. I see them as an expensive way to bore people. I only send gifts for first weddings. Sorry, niece.
I kinda see my ideas as the great romances of my life. So much so that Hubs has learned to be okay with that. Well. . . He's studying, at least. . . Of course the honeymoon I have with my ideas/ideals is sweeter than the marriage and certain passers-by will often remind me that I am married, not buried, but the benefits of picking one and making it work adds a productive stability that is even sweeter than the honeymoon.
I am just kind of getting aware of how my mind gets buried in denial. I am finding I am always seeking out things that establish
a kind of relationship in a way. While at work today I realized I didn't have the relationship at work that was a positive one to my mind - but in copping to this it drew me away from conflicting matters at hand. I felt kind of depressed at first but then it helped
me negotiate my job at work better. Wasn't so thrown by this or that being out of place with some customers and then some customers alright. I don't know arfie - I feel like this is good progress for me. I feel like I am aware of what I am reaching out for
and what is influencing me either way positive or negative so to 'go forward' in my day. I love poetry - and one poet in particular said something
about herself that reminds me of what you said: Mary Oliver said: " I want to be the bride of amazement." or something like that.
Thanks for being there arfie!