good times with my family

I went over to my sister's house where she and her fiance' live with my future 

brother in-law's two kids. My sister from San Diego was there too as were my Dad and Stepmom.

Before I got there...on the drive there I started to get creeping, invasive thoughts and theories

and I realized "i'm anxious, it's just (social) anxiety"!!! This really helped me remain present

while driving and also to be present emotionally while I was there with them (for myself and for them!). I felt I was more

like myself than I had been in a long time with them. I really connected with my sisters.

It was such a light and happy time, eating outdoors on the patio and just enjoying each others'

company. I left to come back home, to get ready for work tomorrow, and on the way

back I started to think about 'how I wish happy times like that could be always' - - but

I know we each have to get back to our lives...and that's a blessing too - to have to work

and make our lives -  having that independent journey is key, crucial to my well being and everyone's I bet!

So, I knew I needed to get back to my life...

and my goals... And in a way it felt like opening myself to a kind of unknown - wish I could always

bask in the glow of family comradery, but I am glad and know

that I need to get back to my life of working at the market, and then also

my upcoming goal of going to the monastery!! I am excited about my plans! I feel

capable and ready....

and I hope you guys have a good week ahead!!