good things.
I am starting to catch myself and the birth of negative feelings..i have this raging engine within that kind of drives me forward
but I can't give it voice - as I am alone at times it may color the way I see myself - my aloneness - it may inspire me to feel
like I am disliked or sad or spin - but then I have catch it - I am learning to catch it - and what I mean by that is to
consciously interpret what is going on within and not lose sight of what's really happening. I feel at times
no permission to create something when I am alone - for some reason it feels like a dark place and forbidden
but that is part of the interpretation i think. I don't know - to be continued..
Replies
Don't know about your strictly personals, but in my own strictly personals, I believe interpretation is the very mechanism by which my negative spirals function. Another word for this interpretation is, "Prejudice," aka pre-judgement. My hyper-vigilance wants everything clearly marked Good/Bad. My low self-esteem leads me to believe life never will offer me anything good, so whatever is coming at me has to be bad, even when it is wrapped in pretty paper with ribbons and bows. Especially then? I've been the butt of more than one cruel joke.
This be one of the places where radical acceptance has helped me considerably.
Mine is to observe and accept at face value, nay to judge.
Since I began working radical acceptance tools some odd decades ago, I have lost count of how many times I have turned around to face a *demon* I had been running from, only to find a friend stepping out of the shadows to cry, "I've missed you so."
But that is me. . .
Continued support while you sort your own.
thanks arfie... !
Big hug for you LC..... You are definitely not disliked.... You are a wonderful and kind man.... I hope that you can believe that...... xo
When I 'see' you Mark, I see a man who walks the beach, seeks our relationships and communicates with family and friends. I have so much confusion at time I see backwards side ways and forward overwhelming myself to the point of stagnation and a cement block on my legs. If this feeling is recent within a couple of days, and you live by water, remember it's a full moon and the energy is Way Different...for me I get jitters and sleep is bad and my stomach seems to go ballistic too...I too "life never will offer me anything good," I too waited and waited...don't think it's mine to wait anymore, I think the "its" are are for me to now seek and to do~~take good care :)
thanks guys!