Good Sign
I have been offered an opportunity to downgrade to a smaller sized apartment within my complex, and I have been having a very hard time with this. I now understand why they tell you to wait at least a year before moving or making any major decisions after the death of your spouse. I went over to the new apartment to check it out while it is empty, before they start doing a few repairs and painting etc. and my initial reaction was very negative. It is so much smaller than my current place, and I just felt claustrophobic there. I also could not picture how to bring the happy memories of Stan with me, especially if have to get rid of half of my/our furniture and stuff to even fit in there! I knew that financially it would save me quite a bit of money which is so important now that I'm unemployed; it would make my meager savings stretch out longer. So I went back for a second look, trying to see the possibilities and visualize which of Stan's pictures and decorations I could bring with me, and how I could make this place feel like home. After a lot of tears, and a sleepless night, I finally decided I could do this. Today I went shopping with my daughter, looking for new curtains, shelf paper, and a few other things that I will need if I make the move. I had asked her if could borrow her retractable tape measure in order to get a more accurate idea of space in the apartment and where I could put specific pieces of furniture. She bought me my very own tape, and this is where the "sign" comes in. When Stan and I were on our honeymoon, we kep running into "Stanley" products - "Stanley" elevators, "Stanley" locks, a "Stanley" convention being held in the city, etc. and it became a bit of a joke for us, his name being everywhere. Well, when I got home and looked at my new retractable tape measure, guess what? It's a "Stanley". Coincidence probably, but to me it felt a bit like a "sign" that Stan is with me through this difficult time. It certainly made me smile today.
Replies