good news

good news...

today I was having a difficult day - I did go to work, I did have scramble brains

but I kept putting one foot in front of the other and went through the paces

and did the work.

I came home and met with my therapist at our appointment.

I talked to her about the scramble brains - and she said something about

"well what would you like to do?" and in truth at times like these I tend to not

know at all..and she was sympathetic...and I told her - at times like these - because

I get such scramble brains "it's like I forget how to take care of myself" - I said to her...

She said "Yes! And it's important to maybe make a list of things you like to do - around 5 things put

on your fridge so that when you feel overwhelmed you can have a "GO TO" list of reminders of what to do.

I thought it really a great idea. I haven't done it yet - but

afterward my mind was really stewing in my craziness - lots of electricity and scrambler brains

- I realized I was kind of looking somehow to reclaim my sense of things - I remember it was important

to be self responsible emotionally as much as possible - 

but what struck me, after doing chores - going through the paces- around my apartment..

is that I kept on coming to the search for a GLOBAL answer to my issues...Like a new insight

about things - and I remembered what she said about the suggestions on my fridge.

I realized that instead of seeking a global answer to my state of mind - perhaps

it would be more fulfilling to be 'in the moment' - and satiate myself in some way -

That sense of 'care' really seemed to take me back to grounded center.

I know that 'being in the moment' is something people talk about - and now - 

being in the moment by myself is something I am seeing as possible!

When by myself I have often just sat "At the ready" - kind having a hard time

anyways I won't judge it - it's just how I dealt with the issue of how I am dealing

today...

It feels good to have found a solution - at least even if it is just for today.

I know I'll get overwhelmed again. I know that I'll have to find another way to handle

my sense of scramble brains...but this feels fundamental. It makes me happy.

:)

Peace to you guys out there! I hope you're having a good day, afternoon or night!

Mark