Good morning! Hungry!
I came down to church at 5am and set things up, now I've been on my phone messing around.
Things are good. Starting to plan a bit what I'll do with my free time today. I might clean the altar. I'll spend time with Blue for sure. Can't wait for the morning meal, so hungry!
I'm part of a system here that has my days planned out for me but I want to do things I want, when I can. I guess in part I rely on the system, to manage my life, but I don't want to entirely, I've got things I want to do. I suppose it's a kind of symbiotic relationship. Some kind of system to hold me safe and some liberty that both together keeps me sane and thriving and happy.
It's all good, Happy Tuesday!
Replies
Since the German priest has been here I’ve been feeling disconnected from the services. I’ve been feeling like a fraud and my insides as I have said the service have felt false and soul sucked. I tried to do things with the meaning that my fellow priest had but ultimately I realized my efforts have to come from within me. I can’t rely on the connection with another’s personality to keep me with integrity. It’s got to come from my center. The time the fellow priest has been here I’ve become ambivalent once again. Those days which I spent sick in bed really gave me such a great sense of myself and my life again.
Perhaps it’s like I’ve been relating to another system that I’ve found has not been the best for me and ultimately it’s taught me to find my integrity.
Big hug sweetie...I hope that you had a great meal and your belly is full!
I don't think that most of us are always content with our lives
Sometimes life is hard
You are a deep thinker Mark
Make sure that you are as kind to you as you are to everyone else
If these thought continue you could always make a pro's/con's list and see what you think perhaps??
Big squishy hug...xo
thanks Janet! So appreciate your perspective! Thanks!
I’m realizing a good therapy tool is for you to do things that remind you of yourself. You can surround yourself with things you like and things that reflect your achievements, but what also helps me is my reconnecting with art and what I like to do. So that I can always come back to an ‘action’ of doing that which gives me a positive sense of myself and what pleases me too. If you have something like that it’s good to remember what it is. It gives you a sense of home base mentally too. I just labeled 100 envelopes for the monastery while listening to the radio. It felt great to accomplish something quietly on my own. It was just gentle affirmation in a quiet activity. It wasn’t activity of choice but it was action