Good morning!
I had a good conversation with Dad and C last night. It just felt relaxed and fun. I am doing well this morning. I washed and dressed and came down to the trapeza (cafeteria) to have coffee and to look at my phone. All the sisters are busy preparing for the first meal at 10a. I’m going to see if there’s anything that I can do.
I realize a lot of my stress comes from my choice in the way I look at things, and I'm starting to choose more consciously the way I'm looking at things.
Things like a free schedule aren't generally mine here. There's always somewhere to be and something that needs to get done. I find my position as priest and my own self management style sometimes makes me feel a little entitled and caught up in perseverating a kind of posture.
And seeking out opportunities to rest, drink coffee and look at my phone etc ..
The stress that builds up from thinking I have no choice but to seek out times like these, whenever I can, kind of gets me caught in a stasis loop of no agency and so stress builds up. Probably because I don't think actively - I just hurry up and wait.
As I sat in the coffee room just now, listening to the sisters work in the kitchen. I started to wonder about how I would be preparing for my morning meal at this start of the day if the day was mine. The stress seemed to vanish. Choice really gave me a totally fresh and healthy perspective.
I realize this is a stress reducer for a small moment - I can't renege on my greater responsibilities and challenges that lay ahead. These thoughts just inform me
what to do if a kind of self care is needed.
Replies
Glad you were able to work through your stress and feel better.
thanks becky!!
Hugs Marko.
I can’t help but wonder if your sense of wanting things outside your current scope are something more to consider in terms of co-existing alongside things that aren’t always your favorite or your own wants.
We all have to make peace sometimes with things that may be uncomfortable or unpleasant or not preferred, and that is so much a part of negotiating and compromise and navigating in so much of life. In relationships, in job functions, in human experience.
So while you are questioning your current environment and things that cramp your comfort, I think it can be healthy to remember that there is no perfect poignant state of being. Living with grace in the chaos of that may liven up perspective to a more tangible expectation and experience.
I hope you don’t read this as harsh. Sometimes we have periods of agitation that may be med related or may simply be a need for reframing a perspective.
And these are the thoughts I have been having for myself lately.