good morning
I don't feel like going down to Church this morning. I know it'll be fine
once I get down there. The COVID Vaccine and flu vaccine that I got yesterday
made me have the night sweats last night.
Now I am showered and dressed and ready to go. 624am.
I feel like I want to date someone and yet it's like my illness would make that
date a THROUPLE. When I have good perspective on things (and I do fight to have that)
it's as though everything else becomes secondary - in the sense that I work so hard to
have a good perspective that I don't have space to go for anything else or can give a thought to it.
When I do go with what I feel like, I tend to make poor decisions.
I'll talk to my therapist about this next week. Balance sure would be
a nice thing.
Replies
The last vaccine I had left me down for the count for a weekend! It’s ok to rest.
Dating, and trying new jobs, and all things “new” in life seems a million times more intense with these illnesses at bay - but I think you have to look at it as more of a gift than a curse. With the awareness and the therapy and navigational expertise, we have an advantage methinks in working through pragmatically versus folks who have never stepped foot in a therapist office nor wouldn’t. I guess maybe try to think less of things as an illness as best you can and think of it as awareness.
Thanks Nikki
Try not to feel blue. I know - easier said than done. Dating is hard for me too because of the invisible cloud that follows me and messes everything up. I don’t know how or why it got there but it’s up to me to untangle it, unfortunately.
Sending a hug and a big noogie.
((((Marcos)))))
The idea of dating or being with another person scares me because of my stuff too & my past being in abusive relationships. I’ve made poor choices too. I also don’t know because of PTSD & mental stuff if a person could handle the way my moods shift & sometimes I flinch if someone goes to touch me. I don’t know sorry I’m rambling in your journal, I just understand the going back & forth about the idea of a significant other
Big hugs <3
Hugs to you, too, lilmissy.
I think we all need to remind one another that we are a catch! We are valuable and worthy of being loved. We have healing to do, but we are so so valuable.
thanks you guys!
whatever it is i am trying to develop over a long haul, those apathetic and even rebellious days always seem to find me. the days where i am able to fake it till i make it often turn into bestest days ever.
then there is dating. . . both my hubs and i refused to date while we were eligible for that scene. it remains one of our favorite things about each other. no we don't do, "date nights."
fast forward 4 decades to the inheritance of our 3 orphans and the discovery that children no longer play. they have playdates. can i go back to my blissful ignorance of that cultural evolution? playdating parents is a notion this old cynic was not ready for. those dates might go on my books as the most awkward blind dates i've ever endured. for the sake of the children?
Mental illness can definitely make maintaining a relationship difficult. However, I hope you won't rule out the possibility. In reality, any relationship you have will not be a throuple, but a quad. : ) Whoever you date will have their own "stuff." If people avoided relationships because they have issues, then no one would be dating at all! It will just take you finding someone who is compassionate and willing to take the time to learn about your illness (and vice versa). You have a lot of insight into who you are, and you can share that with your significant other. The rest, the two of you will figure out as you go along.
Always do what's going to be the best for you. If you feel you can't handle a relationship, that's OK. Just know that you don't need to be "perfect" or have it all together to be loved. Hugs.
thanks judy!!!!
Great advice, Judy!
It’s true that the other person has things and pasts and mistakes and foibles and perhaps even diagnosed mental illness that they also bring when entering a relationship! Dating could be a friends first sort of thing instead of putting it in the algorithms of online dating apps or stuff you see on reality tv. That’s too much pressure.
Thanks Nikki!!
Big hug Marky...... Getting out and trying might just be worth it sweetie..... When I worked in the community I worked with a number of people who had schizophrenia and were married
Deep breaths... Nothing wrong with meeting someone new for coffee? and just see where it leads??... Maybe??.... xo
thanks so much Janet! You are such a special Angel!! :) xx