good morning.
I think we're all out there seeking our own brand of beauty in life.
Realistically, we all have the nuts and bolts of it to deal with.
My sister wrote me that she recently re read Siddhartha and at the end of the book somebody says stop seeking and start finding.
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Also from Siddhartha: “When someone is seeking, it happens quite easily that he only sees the thing that he is seeking; that he is unable to find anything, unable to absorb anything, because he is only thinking of the thing he is seeking, because he has a goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: to have a goal; but finding means: to be free, to be receptive, to have no goal. You, O worthy one, are perhaps indeed a seeker, for in striving towards your goal, you do not see many things that are under your nose.”
Perhaps your time at the monastery is an opportunity to stop seeking and find yourself.