Good day’s end

Dear Abbess, I was having a day of high moods and low moods. Futility. I did my chores and helped out where I could, but I have to tell you I asked to rest tonight. I came back up to my cell early before Vespers. I feel guilty, but I also know that it’s important for me to get my head on straight and rest from how frankly tired I feel. I’ve applied to a job a part-time job nearby today. Hopefully I’ll get it. I think that will energize me too. I want to feel or to behave with gratitude towards you and the Monastery. I am grateful but If I have this job when you come back, I’ll be able to take you out to Uncle Matty’s for dinner. I know that may sound funny but just small things like that will help me feel energized I think and remembering to be grateful. Today I lost that sense of gratitude just in the moods I was feeling. When you have mental health issues like me I can feel very vigilant and on top of things at one point but then to move forward, I have to take the temperature of my natural feelings and when I do, I can get lost in them. Gratitude and work and earning some money will help me stay healthy I think. I feel bad that I called to rest tonight, but everyone was very nice about it. I hope you are OK and having a good day and I’ll talk to you soon I hope!

Also, I’d like to donate to the monastery when I have more resources. It’s small but gives me a sense of contributing and agency.