Good days ahead. . .

This weekend was very nice! It was the first time that I felt close to being "normal" again. We had really nice weather and I was able to get outside some, and feel the sunshine. I am struggling a little with feelings of guilt over feeling better, like I am forgetting my baby by doing so. I know that this is "normal" (whatever that is) and that it's OK to feel happy and to move on. For some strange reason though I just can't bring myself to change my little yellow face to a smiling green one yet, but I think I will work towards that. I guess I am a little afraid of having to make it yellow (or heaven forbid red) again, and that would not feel so good.
I also have to say that my counseling session went well on Thursday. Last week was easier for me though, and I felt almost guilty for talking to her when I was having a good day; like it wasn't necessary or something. It was nice to be able to talk to someone and be able to say anything. She also gave me some hope, as she is 3 years out from her MC and said that while you never forget that it becomes more manageable. She gave me some ways to manage my grief and I am going to try them out this week. I get two more sessions before I can go to group if I choose. Not sure what I will decide, but it's nice to know that I can talk and meet with people if I need to.
Here's hoping that this week will feel better than last week. . . it's all small steps. . .