good bye apartment

Last night I got a message from the company that manages Leslie's apartment. Buck decided not to stay and could I go over and see if there was anything in the apt. I wanted before they had it cleaned out. Whoa.

I texted Buck, since this was the first I knew about this. She told me she meant to tell me when I saw her Thursday, but we didn't get together and then she forgot--she's moving in with her boyfriend. That's fine. She said they'd cleared a lot of stuff out (I'd told Buck she could keep anything there she wanted). So I went over this afternoon to see what was left.

There were a few things. Her garden gnome, which will be living on my balcony. A couple of her notebooks. Her favorite jacket in the closet, and the alligator twin set--had to take that. Her cowboy hat. I guess more than a few things--I had 4 shopping bags. Took a couple of pictures--the rocking chair on the deck she used to sit on to watch bats. The view from her deck. The back of the building. 

I walked around the place a few times before leaving--calling for her, talking to her. It was hard to leave yet hard to stay. I said good bye to whatever spirit of hers is still there. Told her how much I loved her. Then I went and sat in my car and screamed her name over and over. Continued that on the way home--had to pull over a few times--the normally 15 min drive took closer to half an hour.

Leslie, Leslie, Leslie, where are you? Where are you? I want to see you and hold you and realize this was all a horrible dream. 

Leslie!!!! LESLIE!!!!!