Gone one month today.
I don't believe I found Daily Strength on my own doing. I am a firm believer in things happening for a reason and in God's time. Although I wouldn't say I am a religious person ( even though my Grandfather was a Methodist Minister), I am a very spiritual and faithful person.
Today marks 1 month since my husband of 3 1/2 years passed away unexpectedly. He went into the hospital for a heart "procedure" which was successful, but died in his sleep the next morning at the hospital. Cause of death is said to be sleep apnea.
The house is unusually quiet today. My boys, Connor who is a Sr and 18, and Hunter who is a Jr. and 17, left for school at 9am. They got to sleep in late due to snow and below teens temps. So, we all slept in. I work from our home and have found it hard to spend any time in the office today. I think the dogs and I will just enjoy eachother's company and not do much but read and enjoy each other.
As I was making my coffee, I looked out the back window and watched the birds picking through the snow to find the birdseed Hunter had spread on the patio table and in the feeders. I know Jeff would have enjoyed watching them too. I search for a cardinal that I can hear singing in the distance. This is my sign that all is well. My grandfather, Pappy, use to whistle like a cardinal when he was alive. And when he passed way in 1998, several of our family members were greeted by a cardinal at their homes. So, we call cardinals our "Pappy birds". Jeff was also called "Pappy" by our grandchildren, Izzy and Ezra. So the sign of the cardinal has a double meaning for me now.
The noon whistle has blown and I realize that I have made it through half of this day. Some days go slow, like today and others fly by. Sometimes I stop in my tracks and realize that Jeff won't be home today and the tears flow. Then I gather myself and move on with my day. I know this is how my life will be until I move through the loss and grief. I know that day is coming and I know it will not come soon enough. But I remember Jeff with love and smiles and treasure each memory. I will continue with our plans for business and help other people and know that I will see him again.
Miss you Jeppie! Love you MOST!
Today marks 1 month since my husband of 3 1/2 years passed away unexpectedly. He went into the hospital for a heart "procedure" which was successful, but died in his sleep the next morning at the hospital. Cause of death is said to be sleep apnea.
The house is unusually quiet today. My boys, Connor who is a Sr and 18, and Hunter who is a Jr. and 17, left for school at 9am. They got to sleep in late due to snow and below teens temps. So, we all slept in. I work from our home and have found it hard to spend any time in the office today. I think the dogs and I will just enjoy eachother's company and not do much but read and enjoy each other.
As I was making my coffee, I looked out the back window and watched the birds picking through the snow to find the birdseed Hunter had spread on the patio table and in the feeders. I know Jeff would have enjoyed watching them too. I search for a cardinal that I can hear singing in the distance. This is my sign that all is well. My grandfather, Pappy, use to whistle like a cardinal when he was alive. And when he passed way in 1998, several of our family members were greeted by a cardinal at their homes. So, we call cardinals our "Pappy birds". Jeff was also called "Pappy" by our grandchildren, Izzy and Ezra. So the sign of the cardinal has a double meaning for me now.
The noon whistle has blown and I realize that I have made it through half of this day. Some days go slow, like today and others fly by. Sometimes I stop in my tracks and realize that Jeff won't be home today and the tears flow. Then I gather myself and move on with my day. I know this is how my life will be until I move through the loss and grief. I know that day is coming and I know it will not come soon enough. But I remember Jeff with love and smiles and treasure each memory. I will continue with our plans for business and help other people and know that I will see him again.
Miss you Jeppie! Love you MOST!
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