Going to give it a Go
So tomorrow we decided that we will invite his parents out for dinner and maybe a couple of drinks. I will definitely stay positive about keeping my cool if his mom starts to bug me.
Looking forward to this weekend as we are actively trying to spend quality time together while we can and still allow people to spend time with him and everything. I definitely feel better since talking to other all these great people on this site. Especially if I have questions about things or helping others to feel better.
Realizing that time is going faster than I realized. Anniversary is a few weeks away hi dad'ss birthday is that weekend and so there will be a party gonig on. Meanwhile having to keep a smile on my face and socialize even though I don't really want to socialize.
I think the hubby is worried I am going to become a hermit or something when he goes in. He mentioned yesterday that I need to hangout with more friends that I don't have to work around the their families. I think part of him is afraid that I am going to become upset that we don't have kids of our own. I mean I am 29 and he is 32. With the time that he will most likely be serving will put me at least 40. I reassure him that if I am not able to have kids when he gets out then there is always adoption or surrgacy.(Did I spell that right?) Oh well.
I think like him I could see myself easily becoming a hermit and only leaving the house for when I go to work. My goal is to venture out into the big scary world by myself. I think that is the hard part. Going out without the hubby and feeling a little vulnerable. Worried that noone will call to see how I am doing or that people will care too much and be borderline annoying.
Back to the original topic lol I am going to give it a go this weekend lol ^_^
Looking forward to this weekend as we are actively trying to spend quality time together while we can and still allow people to spend time with him and everything. I definitely feel better since talking to other all these great people on this site. Especially if I have questions about things or helping others to feel better.
Realizing that time is going faster than I realized. Anniversary is a few weeks away hi dad'ss birthday is that weekend and so there will be a party gonig on. Meanwhile having to keep a smile on my face and socialize even though I don't really want to socialize.
I think the hubby is worried I am going to become a hermit or something when he goes in. He mentioned yesterday that I need to hangout with more friends that I don't have to work around the their families. I think part of him is afraid that I am going to become upset that we don't have kids of our own. I mean I am 29 and he is 32. With the time that he will most likely be serving will put me at least 40. I reassure him that if I am not able to have kids when he gets out then there is always adoption or surrgacy.(Did I spell that right?) Oh well.
I think like him I could see myself easily becoming a hermit and only leaving the house for when I go to work. My goal is to venture out into the big scary world by myself. I think that is the hard part. Going out without the hubby and feeling a little vulnerable. Worried that noone will call to see how I am doing or that people will care too much and be borderline annoying.
Back to the original topic lol I am going to give it a go this weekend lol ^_^
Replies
This is a mixed up, hard time. You want to cram in everything in a short period of time. We didn\'t ever get that \" luxury\". He was always taken without any warning, never got bail. You would think he was son of Charles Manson, or The Texas Chain Saw murderer, not just a drunk driver, who wasn\'t even drunk this time.
Surogacy... that\'s the spelling. HAHA
I am pretty much a hermit, because of where I live. Everything is too far to bother driving or waste the gas. No place I really want to go. I do go see my family, and a couple friends but my life is beyond boring for the most part.
I hate going places where happy couples are together. I don\'t need to see them having a good time together, stealing a kiss in public. I don\'t want to see what I am missing so much.
But I do keep busy.
Tough one about the kids. For your information though, my friend had her 1st and only kid at 40. She had lots of female problems, or else HE couldn\'t do it, don\'t know, but they eventually had a son. Nowadays people are having babies later in life.
I think the family stuff is inevitable. You aren\'t going to get alot of time alone with him, that\'s obvious. Sad, but true, and for their side of it, they love him too. I wanted my son all to myself before he went, didn\'t happen. And I just had to deal with it.
Now I am sittting here alone, with my new friends on here, that I look forward to conversing with. You all get it. You all feel the feelings I do. You have him there still. Snuggle tighter til he is gone. Stay close to him, while you can. He probably wants that too, but the family obligations bind him to being around them too.
My friend has a boyfriend who is SO attached to his family that half of them live across the street, or just down the road. He is never without them. She loves them, but hates they don\'t get any alone time, except after the lights go off, and even then, they call at 2 a.m. just to talk. They pop in for breakfast at 6 a.m. At least you don\'t have that.
Do find your friends when he is gone. It does help somewhat. The nights will always be the worst. And when you wake up, and he isn\'t there. But filling up the rest of the day is so important to your survival.
Well, just remember, I am here, and so are alot of wonderful people. It isn\'t the same, but sure helps.
Awww thanks .... ya I am just taking it all in. Kinda mentally preparing myself type of thing.
Thanks for the correct spelling too cause that seriously was bugging me lol. As for the calling thing from the in-laws ya that calls all the time. I think for her though it is because she wasn\'t there all the time for him growing up so since this has happened she calls just about everyday. Example this last weekend we agreed to go to his cousins house for a BBQ and the hubby stressed that since were going on sunday he didn\'t want anyone to call on Monday so that we could have quiet time alone together. Of course she calls for some reason.
I can understand where she is coming from but with her calling all the time it makes it hard for him to relax and then he gets upset because it is like she is checking in on him all the time. It is tough but we manage lol. I guess that is what in-laws are for. LOL Family is meant to drive you crazy sometimes whether they are blood or not.
I am hoping that I am able to have kids of our own because I honestly feel like I was born to be a mom. One of friends has kids so I like to help her out when I visit. Another friend of mine said that she is going to make sure I don\'t go into a depression and make sure that I get out of the house and all.
Now that I have found this group I am here for life lol. Everyone is so nice and caring it\'s amazing. ^_^
Stay strong..You will find that until you know if you are going to have your own children will be put in your life...That maternal instinct is so strong and sometimes they find you in other ways until then..I always wanted to be a foster parent but I had 3 of my own so that was enough..My friend had twins at 40 years old, no fertility issues for her! The thought makes me break out in a sweat but that is because I am done!! I do borrow babies from friends at time though!
Thanks i am staying positive about the whole family thing lol. In the meantime I plan on working on doing things to the house to make it look better for when he does get out. I figure I can teach myself so DIY home improvement type stuff. I mean it cant be too hard lmao ^_^ So keep your eyes open for when I probably inevitably flood something lmao And of course still babysit some of my friends kids