going to bed

I turned off the news and I closed the curtain.

Going to bed now - but I am restless.

I didn't do much today and I guess the silence

and the inactivity (though I covered all my bases chores-wise)

is making me think a little bit about the future and the unknown.... When there

will be more days like this. More days alone - more days of having

to experience 'lean weeks' until pay day like I am experiencing now.

My parents aren't getting any younger and both my brother and sister

will both be living in Europe soon. My youngest sister lives in San Diego

with her husband

and my second younger sister lives close by.

I suppose there's no good in worrying about things. But I would like to 

be self responsible about what I am experiencing and also start

to understand and kind of forecast what life will be like when I don't have

the secure life-anchor that I have now.

I know I am incredibly lucky and I'm grateful. I guess I just needed

to regroup a little after a quiet amorphous day. My thoughts and actions

weren't so geared up for mission - just my thoughts kind of got into a soupiness and so

I am just airing the laundry that's in my brain before I sleep tonight.

Have a good night...next up work tomorrow! :)