Going Insane, tired, sick...
My eating habits are soooooo bad right now. Eating all kinds of shitty food, too much caffeine, sugar...The result? I have ZERO energy and I'm gaining weight
I've been smoking insanely too. And drinking. Just coping, you know? (excuses, excuses)
I'm just feeling so unhealthy. Actually, I think I've never been so unhealthy in my life. I feel like I'm about to have heart attacks all the time. At night, my heart suddenly starts racing and it's scary as fuck. I really need to go back to exercising and eating right. OH, and I NEED to quit smoking.
University is driving me INSANE. So much stuff to do and it's been almost two years since I had more than a 4 week break from it (calendar problems...)
My family always pressuring me. I feel like I've been doing SO much, but it's never enough, you know?
I'm only 21, but I already feel like I'm wasting my 20's. The last two years of my life were a waste of time and I don't know how to change the direction of things...
As always, I'm under pressure and, as always, I try to bottle everything. My immunological is failing me and I'm having allergies all the time, I have panic attacks everyday, my anxiety level is going through the roof, I'm having headaches, I feel like crying all the time...I'm about to have a meltdown, but NO ONE sees it and everyone thinks I'm doing great.
Oh, my friends are now accepting my "anti-social" phase. I only go out twice a month and they are ok with it. Of course, they don't know why don't want to go out, but at least they're not pressuring me or expecting me to go out ALL the time.
On a positive note, I haven't cut in a while! I have no time to cut, and take care of the wounds and stuff...I mean, I feel like cutting every single day, but I really don't the time nor the energy. On a negative note, I know that in 30 days or so I'll have some free time and I CAN'T wait to slice my arm and finally be able to breathe lightly again. I feel like everything will go away (at least for a little beat) once I cut.
Well, that's it for now
Sorry for my crazy english.
I've been smoking insanely too. And drinking. Just coping, you know? (excuses, excuses)
I'm just feeling so unhealthy. Actually, I think I've never been so unhealthy in my life. I feel like I'm about to have heart attacks all the time. At night, my heart suddenly starts racing and it's scary as fuck. I really need to go back to exercising and eating right. OH, and I NEED to quit smoking.
University is driving me INSANE. So much stuff to do and it's been almost two years since I had more than a 4 week break from it (calendar problems...)
My family always pressuring me. I feel like I've been doing SO much, but it's never enough, you know?
I'm only 21, but I already feel like I'm wasting my 20's. The last two years of my life were a waste of time and I don't know how to change the direction of things...
As always, I'm under pressure and, as always, I try to bottle everything. My immunological is failing me and I'm having allergies all the time, I have panic attacks everyday, my anxiety level is going through the roof, I'm having headaches, I feel like crying all the time...I'm about to have a meltdown, but NO ONE sees it and everyone thinks I'm doing great.
Oh, my friends are now accepting my "anti-social" phase. I only go out twice a month and they are ok with it. Of course, they don't know why don't want to go out, but at least they're not pressuring me or expecting me to go out ALL the time.
On a positive note, I haven't cut in a while! I have no time to cut, and take care of the wounds and stuff...I mean, I feel like cutting every single day, but I really don't the time nor the energy. On a negative note, I know that in 30 days or so I'll have some free time and I CAN'T wait to slice my arm and finally be able to breathe lightly again. I feel like everything will go away (at least for a little beat) once I cut.
Well, that's it for now
Sorry for my crazy english.
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