Going downhill fast
I am sitting in my office right now, and the tears are running down my face. How could someone who loved me so much say and do such terrible, devastating things? I truly feel like a broken man who has been damaged for life. Do I stay and face the pain, knowing that my wife did the very thing that I have feared worst my entire life? Somehow rebuild trust after all the lies? Do I leave, knowing that I am forever changed by this? How will I put my trust in another woman? Will she be punished for the mistakes my wife made? Am I destined to be alone? Sometimes it just feels like I have lived my life, and now it is over. I wanted an escape from childhood abuse... a woman who was kind, loving, honest, trustworthy instead of sick and sadistic. Someone whom I could finally feel safe to put my love and trust into. I found that, and yet she still betrayed me.
Replies
Awwww....I\'m so sorry to hear that you are having a bad day. I feel like you do. It\'s funny how a few days ago, we seemed to feel like we were on the road to recovery and we both felt that we had such great spouses.
Today, I feel like you. I look at my husband and I\'m like, \"who is this person???\" I wonder if he\'s as remorseful as he says or if he\'s just manipulating me so that he can stay in our home and with our sons\' and then he will do the same thing again. It bothers me that I\'m struggling more than he is. He said he\'s getting his strength from the bible and that this is the reason he can smile sometimes because God is healing him. I don\'t know. I look at him and I wonder where God was in his life when he was cheating on me?
Like you, I think about life with him. If he\'s sincerely remoreseful, we will have a wonderful marriage. If he\'s not, then this will happen again and the thought of going thru this a second time....man...I don\'t know how I will deal with it.
Do not think your life is over...it\'s not. No one is worth feeling this low about. No one. You are probably having a bad day...hang in there today and tomorrow you will feel better!
M.
Thanks for the words of encouragement. It feels good to hear. I know in my heart that someday I will be happy one way or another, but sometimes it is so difficult to see that. All I look forward to is pain these days.
I feel your pain and I feel very badly for what you are going through. It\'s really hard when someone betrays you, especially since you have been such a devoted husband. you are going to get through this, it just takes time. She has to be doing everything possible to gain your trust back and hope you\'ll forgive her.
whether this is going to happen, it is unclear. My husband and U have been trying for almost a year, but I just could not move on past what he did.
maybe you have a bigger heart and things will work out.
Time will clear your mind and youwill finally make a decision. Don\'t put the pressure on yourself about thinking long term - like about future relationships, ets. You are in shock right now, let the wound bleed.
I\'d say that your immediate first aid has to be - resting, making sure you take care of your body, maybe getting away for a day with someone who will just be with you and comfort you.
I can conpletely relate to how it feels. I had a bad childhood and to me the marriage was sacred. the truth was the way of life.
When it\'s broken, it\'s hard to regain balance, because, as u know, this brings out all these memories and issues from the past that we burried deep inside our hearts in hope to move on and love someone.
Take it one day at a time. you will find your peace and the decision of making the right choice will come to you.