Getting Things Off my Chest
Right or wrong, I finally publically posted how tired I am of drama on a support group. It has been a bit like navigating a minefield while balancing a book on your head and getting clear only to have sniper bullets sneaking by you, as well.
Since this is my journal and my little space, I'm spilling the rest - so if you don't wanna hear it, click away now :)
Before now, the only post I felt it necessary to delete was one calling us ALL cunts, which quite obviously needed to go!! I guess I have too much faith in the ability for people to calm down, let go and move on past some of these issues.
The best I EVER learned in therapy - that feeling invisble (which is MAJOR with an N) leads to self-sacrificing behavior, which then leads to an attitude of righteousnes. This is what I've seen here and what I have really been trying to avoid falling into myself during the process.
I cannot believe the amount of times I have recently felt the need to say that issues really can be discussed and sometimes even resolved without pointing fingers, calling names, accusations, sarcasm, anger and just all the nastiness.
In truth, I have no way of really knowing anyone's intent. This comes from my own perception, which may be accurate and may be way off. The truth is, if Billy comes to me and says, "I think Bob is abusive and fake" and then Joe comes to me and says, "I think Bob is great and helpful", which is it? The truth is, I don't know. Maybe I don't even have any strong evidence one way or the other to guide me. But what I do know is that I can't take action against Bob if I don't know. What I also know is that Billy can make the choice to stay away from and ignore Bob and Joe make the choice and can stay friends with Billy.
Now, Billy is really unhappy with this, so he tells his friends Judy and Jill and they are upset for Billy and that he was hurt by this evil fake. The feelings continue to grow and they decide to post that Bob is an evil fake. Of course, Joe sees this and he has his friends Mary and Martha decide they need to respond, as well. Next thing you know, Billy, Joe, Judy, Jill, Mary, Martha and Bob are all trying to convince me of either the goodness or evilness of Bob and wanting me to take action.
What action? I still have know way of really knowing Bob's intent. Maybe he's evil and maybe he's great. I still don't know. And quite frankly, even though I really like everyone involved, I really don't care about Bob's evilness or goodness because I know that personally, if I find evil, I stay away from it and if I find good, I stay near it. And overwhelmingly, it's that easy without me ever bringing anyone else into the situation.
Since this is my journal and my little space, I'm spilling the rest - so if you don't wanna hear it, click away now :)
Before now, the only post I felt it necessary to delete was one calling us ALL cunts, which quite obviously needed to go!! I guess I have too much faith in the ability for people to calm down, let go and move on past some of these issues.
The best I EVER learned in therapy - that feeling invisble (which is MAJOR with an N) leads to self-sacrificing behavior, which then leads to an attitude of righteousnes. This is what I've seen here and what I have really been trying to avoid falling into myself during the process.
I cannot believe the amount of times I have recently felt the need to say that issues really can be discussed and sometimes even resolved without pointing fingers, calling names, accusations, sarcasm, anger and just all the nastiness.
In truth, I have no way of really knowing anyone's intent. This comes from my own perception, which may be accurate and may be way off. The truth is, if Billy comes to me and says, "I think Bob is abusive and fake" and then Joe comes to me and says, "I think Bob is great and helpful", which is it? The truth is, I don't know. Maybe I don't even have any strong evidence one way or the other to guide me. But what I do know is that I can't take action against Bob if I don't know. What I also know is that Billy can make the choice to stay away from and ignore Bob and Joe make the choice and can stay friends with Billy.
Now, Billy is really unhappy with this, so he tells his friends Judy and Jill and they are upset for Billy and that he was hurt by this evil fake. The feelings continue to grow and they decide to post that Bob is an evil fake. Of course, Joe sees this and he has his friends Mary and Martha decide they need to respond, as well. Next thing you know, Billy, Joe, Judy, Jill, Mary, Martha and Bob are all trying to convince me of either the goodness or evilness of Bob and wanting me to take action.
What action? I still have know way of really knowing Bob's intent. Maybe he's evil and maybe he's great. I still don't know. And quite frankly, even though I really like everyone involved, I really don't care about Bob's evilness or goodness because I know that personally, if I find evil, I stay away from it and if I find good, I stay near it. And overwhelmingly, it's that easy without me ever bringing anyone else into the situation.
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