getting pulled in every direction

well, got up very early. son left today. i will be able to get on here a little moore. will try to get back on later. have to go get some coffee started. feel bad that i didnt take him to bus station. realy cant afford it and im very tired and its raining. he cant  wait to get there. ah to be young and stupid again. now im just old and scared. i dont know wene i got so tainted and attached but thats me. i feel like im an actress and im just acting out the motions of having a life. i dont feel anything anymoore. im so numb. ok, moore later....