getting off my butt
the spiritual life here, really helps me.
though I might be like a hound or wolf howling at the moon sometimes
in my spiritual and existential expression (the way that I write.)
It's just starting to make sense to me. I see others here buffered in their
life's angst with and by the sanctity of each ceremony and each
consideration. It's a way us monastics find balance in our lives.
I say us - because I am finding myself here.
I'm in my room now, thinking about what I should be doing. Keep busy, I think to myself.
Look for a job or do art I also think. Help the sisters?? My mind is going towards essential relationships
just in the questioning of all that I am faced with my day and life here.
It's helping me find what's right for me and the path I am taking to get there.
The pondering is endlessly bottomless - I literally have to scoop myself up
like a little child and take myself to taking care of all the tasks that lay ahead.
Gently - but directed
Replies
Big hug sweetie...This is your busy day but remember that relaxing time and snuggling with Blue are also things to do....xo
Thanks Jan, I think I just need to tell myself that I have to do my work.
The spirituality here is civilizing and also comforting, maybe I should look at it as something to rely on in days of unknowing and angst here. Also perhaps I should start talking to my spiritual father. Knowing he is there is also extremely comforting and helpful.
My Dad and brother seem to have no need for any of this, at least like I seem to. It’s uncharted waters for me, but definitely mollifying
I had to look up the word mollifying. :)
Work and rest, rest and work.
I don’t know about you, Marky, but I work so hard and work intensely that when I sit down to rest it makes me feel almost guilty that I am not working. It is a condition that I have as a laborer who is always working beneath people who seem so much more important than me.
It is okay to rest and have leisure. It is also okay to have a “lazy” day here and there. I am doing that tonight. I have a very social weekend with a family wedding so tonight I am making space to rest.
Anyway I often hear you say you aren’t doing enough when you kick your own butt for resting. Don’t miss out on resting time.
thanks Nikki!! I appreciate it!!