Getting my life in control
I'm still very anxious to get to the end result of recovery, while still keeping a realistic state of mind. I haven't lied to my wife, but I'm still shaping my thoughts/mind so that it will come second nature to make the right decisions. I did have an urge to lie yesterday when my father called me and left a voicemail. We have had a rough relationship with my parents since we got engaged, so it's been a very touchy situation for the both of us.
My wife would like to cut all ties with both my mother & father. I'm in agreement with her about my mother because of all the things she did to us, but I'm having trouble letting go of my Dad. When he called and left me a voicemail yesterday, I had a choice to make. Do I not say anything to avoid confrontation? Or do I tell her and have a conversation with my wife that will probably end up with a confrontation. I did not hide it from her.
We did have a confrontation/argument about the whole thing, but it would have been 1,000 times worse if I had kept it from her. We had our argument and it's something that we can work on going forward rather than it be a lie that she resents me for.
I still think that she is not happy with me right now. She can be pessimistic and I usually am the one who needs to turn her thoughts around. I am doing my best to show her our compatibility, love, and respect that we have for one another. The things that brought us together in the first place. The love and admiration I have for her. I continue to move forward with the courage to conquer my fears of confrontation. She will come around.
We did see a marriage counselor on Wednesday and it went okay. She told us that what we both have is fixable. My fear of confrontation and her anxiety play a vital role in our issues. She taught us how to come ourselves down when we are in an argument. I am coming to grips with my problem, so admitting it has become a bit easier for me the past couple of weeks. However, my wife had a difficult time talking about us. She hasn't had this and I feel for her. It has to be difficult to have been hurt by her husband and have to go to marriage counseling 10 months into our marriage. The catastrophic end result pops into her head immediately. Counseling isn't the catastrophic end though. The sooner she realizes that, the better. It will help us be a better married couple. I love her.
My wife would like to cut all ties with both my mother & father. I'm in agreement with her about my mother because of all the things she did to us, but I'm having trouble letting go of my Dad. When he called and left me a voicemail yesterday, I had a choice to make. Do I not say anything to avoid confrontation? Or do I tell her and have a conversation with my wife that will probably end up with a confrontation. I did not hide it from her.
We did have a confrontation/argument about the whole thing, but it would have been 1,000 times worse if I had kept it from her. We had our argument and it's something that we can work on going forward rather than it be a lie that she resents me for.
I still think that she is not happy with me right now. She can be pessimistic and I usually am the one who needs to turn her thoughts around. I am doing my best to show her our compatibility, love, and respect that we have for one another. The things that brought us together in the first place. The love and admiration I have for her. I continue to move forward with the courage to conquer my fears of confrontation. She will come around.
We did see a marriage counselor on Wednesday and it went okay. She told us that what we both have is fixable. My fear of confrontation and her anxiety play a vital role in our issues. She taught us how to come ourselves down when we are in an argument. I am coming to grips with my problem, so admitting it has become a bit easier for me the past couple of weeks. However, my wife had a difficult time talking about us. She hasn't had this and I feel for her. It has to be difficult to have been hurt by her husband and have to go to marriage counseling 10 months into our marriage. The catastrophic end result pops into her head immediately. Counseling isn't the catastrophic end though. The sooner she realizes that, the better. It will help us be a better married couple. I love her.
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