getting better?

That is what my life is. Frustrating! I am very frustrated with my family. I know they all have lives and problems and blah, blah, blah, but they just don't get it and I don't even have the urge to try to explain to them anymore. I am working really hard to cope with this disease and I think I am getting better, I haven't cried in weeks, which is a huge improvement, (the Plavix may have been partially responsible, I also removed myself from a very stressful situation) I am now in a slightly stressful situation, so hopefully as I get stronger, these stressors will get weaker. Dealing with the realities of dying has been the worst. I have never been so scared in my life.     I heard something about anticipatory grief. Maybe that is what I have been going thru.   Grieving for the loss of my own life before it happens. It kinda makes sense, obviously you can't grieve after you die. Well, today I will work on having a good day........Good luck to me.