GA\'s Step One --- Rock Bottom?
Rock Bottom... well I think I have been there several times. I have lost $4000. this month, money I don't have. I have about $16,000. in debt, mostly due to gambling. I have hurt my relationship by borrowing money, being dishonest and doing this over and over again. Knowing that I have hurt him emotionaly and financially hurts me deeply. Driving home from the casino, I felt nervous and guilty. Trying to figure out how I was going to recover from the latest "binge". I knew I shouldn't have gone to the casino... this time I was asked to go from a friend a friend who needed my company. I was not strong enough to say "no" and not strong enough to stop when I was losing. So, my account is overdrawn, I have no available credit. Rock Bottom? For me... I believe it is.
Replies
Hi,
So I know exactly what you mean. I\'m in the middle of relapsing myself and am new to this program. I didn\'t gamble today so that is good but one day at a time. I am going to do whatever it takes this time to fight like hell. I\'ve attempted suicide 8 times in the past and I can tell you that it\'s definately not the answer and if you don\'t gamble one day at a time, it will get better, if you stay and wait for the miracle to happen. Don\'t quit before the miracle is a saying I use to hear. I believe we go through what we go through for a reason and if we try to find some hope and knowledge day by day (relapse to relapse or clean day to clean day) we can stay in recovery. God doesn\'t give us more than we can handle. This too shall pass, it really will. Trust in that and continue to face your demon head on and remember that you cannot control your gambling as you continue to prove to yourself. Forgive yourself as God forgives us of our sins and do something positive about the problem. Don\'t give in and let your mind tell you that you can\'t do it. With help, I believe you (and me) and all of us can live a productive life free from gambling.
It\'s hard to admit we have a problem... I always kept thinking that I could play \"normally\" like everyone else. What I didn\'t realize is that everyone else is not necessarily playing normally and having fun either. It\'s a crazy addiction but as the others have said we can take it one day at a time; eventually the days add up.
Hugs to you for being honest with yourself - write here anytime; there is a lot of support!
smokeygirl
Welcome to this site....and you are definitely in the right place! You will find people here who really understand what you are going through....coming to this site has totally saved me....I am now over 4 months gambling free, and my life is changing more and more....I have such hope now, where I felt hopeless before....keep coming here, write journals, read and comment on the journals of others...I wish you much success on your journey....Dianne