Fucking life

I hate my life. I just want the pain to stop and no one will help me. How do you tell when someone is lying to you? How do you find out if your boyfriend is cheating on you? He tells me he loves me, but then he gets these sexy text messages, pic mail and voicemail from another woman. I'll just call her that fucking slut ass tramp of a bitch! I hope she loses custody of her kids and all her money, plus I hope that she loses her job. God how I hate her and I usually don't say that about people. But I feel like my feelings and rights are trampled on by this bitch. She thinks that she is going to tell my boyfriend to send me back where I came from like she can fucking tell me where the fuck to live. I just want to hurt something or someone as much as I am hurting. I want to get so damm drunk that I just can't feel anything anymore. I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE A HEART, SOUL OR MIND.  I mean honestly who would fucking miss me if i just up and disappear from life. Certainly not my family or my fucking lying ass mother fucking boyfriend.