fucked up big time

eh
so yesterday i did some stupid shit. which lead into me losing a friend:[
i called mimi yesterday from a restricted number
she actually answered
i was shocked
when she said "hello" my heart dropped it took her a second "hello" for me to
answer. i said "rebecca" she said "whos this" like if she didnt know hahaha i know
she knew. any ways i asked her " how are you"  she said" not good" i asked her "why" but i dont remeber what  she said. i think thats when she hung up
idk  cause i was on the verge of crying my heart was racing and i just wanted to talk to her
explain to her how much i loved her but she wont let me
we texted for a lil bit im not gunna say what we excactly said because im such a
fruit cake. but i was just tell her why she hung up and then she said that "she fuckinlove wait loved me" there was more in that text but i forgot it lol it was somthing about me   and another girl.
idk sghe kept bringing her up. and it kinda made me mad cause arent i suppose to be the one that was mad she left me
she didnt care about what was happening with me'
when i felt like killing myself she wasnt there
she could care less you know
but that doesnt change the fact that im still lin love with her
that i would do anything for her. she still has my heart and i can never get it back
she has it for good
and im glad she has it because she is really a good person she is just having problems right now and she has to take of herself before she can take care of anyone else.
so im not mad at her i just wish she would atleast have enough respect for me to listen to what i have to say
im a human too you know i do have feelings.
well since i got all that out i think ima go so byyeeeee<3 i love you always and forever mimi<3333