frustrated with myself but learning

arfie's last comment came at a really good time.

i've been on the arc of accepting 'in the moment' what is real or reasonable and what is not.

i am home now from my trip - and I find myself feeling the reticence of

getting back to business here at St. Nina's. Just the taking care of life

has me 'hemming and hawing' about what to do first and how things

really should be in my home - and how, by the fact that I don't have

it all down pat, really is something that I need to work on. Even in terms of

expressing it all - I just think that it's not easy for anyone - and what takes work

is life - taking care of life takes work - and the stress and fatigue is natural - and so I am going to keep the effort going - keep on keeping on -

keep at my positive direction moving forward with work - it'll never get all done perfectly

but it can remain in the direction of pushing of the rock upward as far as I can tell.

I have to go through my papers - and file them and organize them and or throw

them away. I've got to get Blue some supplies and clean out his litter box.

and clean my room- we're all dealing with it - it's life. I won't judge 'my brother' for

not having it all done well - and I hope he will look kindly on me with a sense of

understanding or even appreciation for what as much as I am trying to do - yet we all fall short 

in the end - it's not easy for anyone I don't think. Some hire people to do it all for them! :)