Frustrated

I am so frustrated lately.   My daughter graduates in two days.   It should be an exciting time yet there are a few problems and it just hurts to watch what she goes through when I know it is my fault because I have lived with my mom all this time so I could raise my daughter with help.   I've never been good enough for anything and I wanted my daughter to not feel that way but she gets the same treatment I always have... you're not good enough,  I told you so and I knew (it, that, etc) would never work.   Just makes me sick how parents or people that are supposed to care about you hurt you the most.   I have a very strong love/ hate relationship with my mom and probably the only thing I can give her is that she had her own problems growing up that started this sick cycle but to never so anything to make it better,  that's on her.   I'm trying to put my life back together and just try to be a person that can do things on her own and yet her voice is always in the background telling me I'll never make anything of myself.   I want to end my life every day,  the only reason I keep going is so my daughter can continue to do all she wants in life.   I don't want her to fall into my mother's trap through criticism and not live her life.  She's going off to college,  far away and has a great road of success ahead of her.   I only want her to be herself,  something I've never been, since I always had to do what my mother says.   I'm just so stressed and wish I could disappear.