From my blog: Catching Up, Starting from Scratch
This is a post from my blog that I published today. It's been a while since I've written on it, but I'd like to start again. I'll be sharing future blog posts on here as well. This is the url: http://pursuedsos47.blogspot.com/
"I am a different girl than who I was when I last wrote on this blog. I have been broken and sewn back together by divine stitches a thousand times. I have experienced sorrow, grief, fear, and disgust in ways I never believed or could have imagined I'd experience.It's so funny, to think of that girl who sat in that California coffee shop back in September, thinking all was well, unaware of the magnitude of the storm brewing in her heart. Not make-you-laugh funny, just ironic. I stared out at passing traffic, smiling, thinking I knew and understood who I was and all I'd become in the coming year. I had started a new job, in a new state. I was ready to take on the world.And then Jesus came in and shook that child's world to the ground. He taught me fierce dependence on Him, for breath and food and life. He knocked the breath out of me and, along with it, the pride and arrogance in me that proclaimed that I knew myself and where I was headed so well.So, in the rubble and ruins of my old life, I have watched the Lord dive deeply into my aching, splintered heart and begin to pluck out the poison that had taken root so many years ago. It's taking time. It's taking effort. It's taking facing a truth I'd rather avoid. But it's helping. It's working.I'm having to start from scratch. And that's okay. When you're rediscovering who you are-- and the Lord is tearing down the ratty old house you've huddled in for ages and building a clean, new dwelling for you-- sometimes the best thing you can do is start from scratch.One day I can go into more detail, when I've had time to heal and find the woman God is calling me to be. For now, please pray for me, that I'll keep forging ahead, battling the bitterness, braving the storm, and clinging to Jesus. He's my only hope, my home, my healer."
"I am a different girl than who I was when I last wrote on this blog. I have been broken and sewn back together by divine stitches a thousand times. I have experienced sorrow, grief, fear, and disgust in ways I never believed or could have imagined I'd experience.It's so funny, to think of that girl who sat in that California coffee shop back in September, thinking all was well, unaware of the magnitude of the storm brewing in her heart. Not make-you-laugh funny, just ironic. I stared out at passing traffic, smiling, thinking I knew and understood who I was and all I'd become in the coming year. I had started a new job, in a new state. I was ready to take on the world.And then Jesus came in and shook that child's world to the ground. He taught me fierce dependence on Him, for breath and food and life. He knocked the breath out of me and, along with it, the pride and arrogance in me that proclaimed that I knew myself and where I was headed so well.So, in the rubble and ruins of my old life, I have watched the Lord dive deeply into my aching, splintered heart and begin to pluck out the poison that had taken root so many years ago. It's taking time. It's taking effort. It's taking facing a truth I'd rather avoid. But it's helping. It's working.I'm having to start from scratch. And that's okay. When you're rediscovering who you are-- and the Lord is tearing down the ratty old house you've huddled in for ages and building a clean, new dwelling for you-- sometimes the best thing you can do is start from scratch.One day I can go into more detail, when I've had time to heal and find the woman God is calling me to be. For now, please pray for me, that I'll keep forging ahead, battling the bitterness, braving the storm, and clinging to Jesus. He's my only hope, my home, my healer."
Replies
Thank you for sharing this with us. I did not realize you were a recently a new creation in Christ. Praise the Lord! Your writing is so true. I could never express myself in writing. You do an excellent job in it. I could use those same sentences for my testimony as well. He definitely did the same to me as well. Are you reading the Wounded Heart from Dan Allender?