From Ear to Ear, Smiling :D

Reflecting back on this past week so far, I realized that I found myself smiling a lot... a lot more than I have in a while... in a very long while! 

I smiled when... I didn't allow the feeling of regret (from sending a text to my ex) to overwhelm my brain and lead me towards depression.  In the immediate moment, I was ready to allow my depression to control me and use it as an excuse to take a nap and shut myself away from the world.  However, I used every ounce of energy left inside of me to talk myself out of it.  I told myself that taking a nap and the easy option won't solve the problem; I should deal with my problems and push through as much as I can.  I explained to myself that I need to face uncomfortable feelings and issues in order to become healthier and stronger!  After my pep talk (and with the help of my best friend @rcurtis1010), I powered through by keeping myself busy with productive work... I felt empowered! 

I smiled when... I met up with my best friend from high school (everyday this week!).  These next few weeks we both decided that we would intensify our workout routines by going to two Barre classes each day.  We have successfully done that the last three days (today we only went once since we both have a lot of work to get done)!  Its been great; I've been able to channel the rush of endorphines and that high into getting things done!  Between classes we would go to Whole Foods to refuel and chat.  We had a couple of deep conversations which left me with inspirational ideas and honest guidence.  The other bits of convo left me laughing outrageously and carefree.  Being surrounded by her positive energy is infectious!  I feel so motivated in continuing to push myself towards a healthier and happier me when I spend time with her, even if it is during a 60 minute workout class that doesn't allow us to talk! 

I smiled when... I rode to and from work with one of my coworkers.  We are both extroverts and math nerds, so we get along pretty well!  We have become exceptionally close ever since we started carpooling with each other.  Last Tuesday, as I was pulling up to his apartment complex, he brought up an issue that I happened to share the same view points as him.  We ended up sitting in my car for an hour discussing it in length, proposing possible solutions and engaging in other related topics.  He brings this level of charisma that is so easy to feed off of and then revert it right back to him!  He pushes my brain's wheels into motion.  I feel so alive and confident when we have those stimulating conversations of ourse (which we do just about every Tuesady and Saturday!)

I smiled when... I celebrated Wine Wednesday with my other coworker.  What started off as simple, weekly plans to watch the last season of our favorite show (New Girl) has developed into a must-have, weekly girl's night!  Last night she made these delicious tacos, I supplied a bottle of red wine and we both brought plesant company!  We bonded over our frustrations with some of our students, chatted about our family and friends, siblings and pets, and discussed some of the life lessons we learned and journeys we aspire.  She grounds me and guides me; she's always reminding me to acknowlegde and celebrate my progress, even if they are little.  I feel so encouraged and hopeful that I will make it through everytime I hang out with her.

I smiled when... I realized my relationship with my best friend from Brit Columbia is hands down the best relationship I've ever had.  Over the last past three weeks, we have been going through pretty much the same things.  With each day and with each new challenge, we have become closer and closer!  We check-in which each other everyday and throughout the day.  When one of us is having an exceptionally off day, the other is there on the double, ready to either just listen or provide a surge of motivation and support.  There is no judgment whatsoever, so it is really easy to be completely vulnerable with each other.  The lines of communication are open 24/7 which makes it easy to efficiently express our feelings.  It is just that plain and simple: she is always there for me; she is my rock!  I feel fully accepted and safe and valuable through our friendship because of her and what she does for me each and every day! 

I know that this dose of happiness and good feelings isn't going to last; but I do know that when I have a depression/ anxiety flare up, I can tap back into these precious moments to help pull me through.  These precious moments are my homeostasis now <3