Friday Night Funk, Latest Edition
Here we are, another weekend... Nothing going on, trying to save money for a ball game trip next weekend but feeling in a bit of a funk tonight and I really don't know why for sure.
Maybe it's just the effects of having worked the past 12 straight days and the physical/mental effects of that but I was in a pretty decent mood up to a couple of hours ago. It would be easier to get past these feelings if there was someone that I could spend time with and wanted to be here with me. I know there is someone somewhere but I have to get my mind clear first.
My mind still wanders back to the night she told me she was no longer in love with me and that she had stopped loving me a long tine ago. She felt she needed to also let me know that she wasn't satisfied with our love life and that I wasn't good in bed. That hadn't been an issue for the first 8 years and she felt a need to tell me that??
i probably should have gone out tonight for at least a little while.. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Maybe it's just the effects of having worked the past 12 straight days and the physical/mental effects of that but I was in a pretty decent mood up to a couple of hours ago. It would be easier to get past these feelings if there was someone that I could spend time with and wanted to be here with me. I know there is someone somewhere but I have to get my mind clear first.
My mind still wanders back to the night she told me she was no longer in love with me and that she had stopped loving me a long tine ago. She felt she needed to also let me know that she wasn't satisfied with our love life and that I wasn't good in bed. That hadn't been an issue for the first 8 years and she felt a need to tell me that??
i probably should have gone out tonight for at least a little while.. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Replies
My heart goes out to you, John! I am kind of having the same thing happen to me at this time. I am trying to fill every waking moment with some kind of activity to keep my mind from wandering into that dark abyss called the \"past\" in my former marriage. I\'m learning though through reading some very good books and articles that a person needs to learn to love themselves totally first while being alone with themselves before they can ever try to genuinely give their love to anyone else.
I\'ve also learned, the more I keep replaying negative words or actions by my ex in my mind, that I\'m actually still letting my ex have total control and power over me to keep me from moving on to a more happy and healthy future with someone else that I can experience genuine, true, caring and respectful love with. When your mind wanders back to something negative that was said or done in your past relationship, mentally put up a huge red STOP sign in your mind, and say to yourself that \"I\'m STOPPING the unhealthy hold you still have on me, and I will NOT let you take away any more of MY power from being the most happiest and healthiest person I can be, and I will NOT let you take away any more space in my brain that you have already consumed in an unworthy and unhealthy way!\"
As always, John, remember.......You GOT this (and you\'ve got everything it takes to not let her have any more power over you or your life for successfully moving forward in your AWESOME future)!!
Peace and (((Hugs))) to you my dear friend!!
Here\'s an article that I\'d like to share with you to become a more happier and peaceful person going through the tough time that you find yourself in now....
http://www.marcandangel.com/2013/12/29/10-ways-to-stop-treating-yourself/
Because I care,
Linda
I think it\'s great you have plans for next weekend, and you have a goal to save up. It is good to have choices and options. Keeping busy is the right thing to do. It crowds out those negative thoughts.
You got some good advice from Linda, let me add something that I was reminded of while reading it. I read about a little trick once that works for me. When you start sliding into those negative thoughts, those blanket statements, like, \"Nobody loves me\", or anything from the past that you cannot control, you can say to yourself. \"...and that\'s the way I like it.\" I have also found \"..and that\'s the way I WANT it\" works even better for me. I don\'t know why, but it works...puts me back in control perhaps, puts me back in the present moment...give it a try! And have a good day today!
LindaMarie, that was a great article and thank you so much for posting it. I identified with more than one of the points made. I think points 3,4 and 5 really hit home for me. I had a discussion earlier this week with my therapist about letting go of the hurt and pain. I wish it were so easy to throw off those shackles from my battered heart and move forward without so much of a backwards glance. If it were that easy we would all be happier campers :)
John, I totally get you. It\'s as though they say these things to us intentionally. Whether its done to hurt us or try to make us hate them but regardless it\'s very painful. Seems so often these days I walk around scratching my head wondering what the....? Most days I\'m good but like you, there are those times when my mind drifts back and I relive all those awful words and hateful actions. I don\'t know about you but it makes me feel like I don\'t matter, my thoughts, desires and feelings aren\'t worth anything to anyone (another point made in the article).
We\'re a fine bunch, aren\'t we? I hope you have a better day today and here\'s wishing you a peaceful and relaxing weekend. After working 12 days straight, you deserve it!
Yes, the feeling of insignificance does take over too much for my liking. I\'m hoping my mental funk is as a result of the fatigue from the long stretch. I\'m having a hard time feeling motivated to do anything today. Just gonna have to force myself to get the hell outta the house tonight and do something
Come on over, we\'ll watch a movie :)
Yeah, I\'ll just click my ruby red heels three times.,,, I\'m watching Man Of Steel now so maybe Superman can give me a lift over
:) Got \'em recorded, so take your time LOL