Fresh Start

You guys may read these and think, "why do you keep getting yourself in these situations?" I ask myself that every single day. There has been times where I'd break down and just cut off everything that surrounded me. Was I even raped? I dont know my damn self and it fucking sucks. I cannot accept it and I have been trying. I'm tired of hating myself. I'm tired of feeling like I crave male attention. I'm tired of this life I have lived. I just want new beginnings...