Freedom!

Individuality!  I finally GOT IT! (Or so I believe, time will tell, and practice.)  No one, and I mean absolutely NO ONE, has the right to criticize me for being me! There is no law, real, implied, or otherwise, that mandates I change who I am in order to satisfy the individual needs and desires of someone else. I have the right to be who I am, even though I may be in different transition points from one state to a better state. Anyone who has a problem with my being-ness needs to take their complaint to my Creator, not me. I am not obligated to change from who I want to be or am designed to be, just to please someone else's judgement or opinion.  Good! Now I've gotten that out...it feels better. Now to teach myself to apply it to my anxieties. It's a whole new concept for me! I no longer want to feel guilty for other's feelings. Deep breath....exhale...ahhhhh. Comfort with my self. Blessings.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Bravo! Richard, I agree with you 100%
mgs1
mgs1

The concept sounds easy... but I do have one question...
Who, besides you, thought or thinks you need to be something else?
Richeart
Richeart

Only me! It feels implied, it\'s unconscious; and that\'s the point! It\'s a belief system I\'ve lived with thinking it was true, without verification. And, I\'m the only one who can fix it because it\'s in my own mind. For a quiet, shy, HSP, introverted type, it\'s difficult to explain to an extraverted type. I actually enjoy not socializing, perhaps it\'s because of the poor boundaries and low self-esteem; and now that I\'m coming out of that maybe I\'ll become more extraverted. But as an introvert, this society thinks it\'s \'wrong\' to be silent and observant; to be alone. They are habitually among others, and dread being alone and not being able to socialize with anyone. It seems they can\'t stand silence if there\'s someone else around. What\'s wrong with those people? They can\'t seem to shut up. Yak, yak, yak, yak. We\'re all alike in that we think other people are like us, or should be. I\'ve been around enough extraverts to know that introverts disturb them. They constantly ask what\'s wrong? Why aren\'t you suffering from verbal diareah like eveyone else? As though there\'s something wrong with me being who I am. I choose to think before I act or talk, extraverts do just the opposite, they need to talk in order to think. They\'ll blurt out almost anything, as a matter of fact that\'s just what they do to introverts by asking them what\'s wrong with them?, why don\'t they want to join in?, implying \"why don\'t you want to be like everyone else\". It\'s a transposition of feelings; the assumption is everybody feels the same; and if a group of extraverts is having a good time they believe that the introvert should feel good to by doing the same thing. Everyone enjoys doing the same things as them because they enjoy it. It\'s stupidity in action. They are so communal they can\'t can\'t concieve of individuality. It really pisses me off now. I\'m really getting tired of their lack of respect for people who want to live differently. I\'m happy being like I am. I\'m good enough for me. I\'ll have to learn to explain myself more assertively in the future, and not apologize for THEIR problem. If I choose not to socialize that\'s my business, and I don\'t like being forced to believe that if I don\'t like what they like the way they like it that there\'s something wrong with me! There\'s NOT! They\'re the one with the problem! They\'re the one with the wrong opinion.

There! Does that answer your question? Or did I overshoot the mark?

Love, Rich
mgs1
mgs1

I\'m not sure I agree. You think I am an extrovert. I\'m not. I avoid parties and hate when people just drop by. It disrupts my solitude. I thought I was this way because we lived in a 900 square foot home... my parents and my 10 brothers and sisters. No privacy, no quiet. I have never felt people expected me to be like them - in fact - I know many who say they admire or envy the fact I can and like being alone. I also know many who until they get to know me think I am conceited or stuck up. Liking yourself is the key to not having to always be doing something and being content reading or quietly listening to the birds. People who don\'t like to be alone, needs others to valid themselves. I think it is what people grow up with and try and either recreate their environment - or hated what they grew up in and seek the exact opposite. My brothers and sisters are entirely different from me - except for one. He lives in the mountains and has social phobia. Sometimes I worry about that in myself. My husband just went on vacation to Utah - I stayed home. It doesn\'t fill me up to be around people - it drains me. The perfect vacation from me is renting a home in Lake Tahoe and taking off my watch. Reading, walking among the trees and sitting on the deck looking at the lake.
My husband loves being around family and friends. He thrives on it. We are simply different and he doesn\'t expect me to be like him. I\'m sorry to disagree with you, but I think you are projecting your feelings onto to others and expect them not to agree with you or your likes and dislikes. My assessment is that it is you who wants to be different but doesn\'t know how.