FOURTH DAY - ALL IS WELL!
Everything under control... Just had a friend mention the casino - I hadn't spoken to her in a long time. It gave me a sick feeling in my stomach, so I guess that's good. :] Just for today I will NOT gamble.
Hugs to all,
Smokeygirl
Hugs to all,
Smokeygirl
Replies
I guess you know that when I quit I told everyone, on earth and beyond, known and unknown, that I was quitting and never to mention it again or ask me to go or brag how much money you won, because you failed to tell me how much you lost. Well, once done, no one mentioned it except my daughter who is hooked and she does but she knows I am beyond tempting now. As the final test a couple months ago I went with her to a casino and watched her play bingo and slots until midnite and bought myself a nice ring in the shop and told her now I can leave with something and she doesn\'t. I found it boring and I ate too much and the smoke bothered me and next time she asked me to go I said the smoke really does a job on me, and its true. So pay yourself on the back but tell your friends what you are trying to do with your life so they won\'t tempt you.I know, years ago if someone said that to me I would say, no way. Then I am closing the door forever and that is what you are doing. Closing this door forever because there is no going back.I know, once I put a dollar in the slots and push the button I am back in again. Oh, that sick feeling you had? That was exactly your memory how you felt when you left empty handed. Your mind remembers it and there is a reflex. hugs to ya barb
You are so right, Barb - people never tell you how much they lost, only when they win. I should start telling people what I\'m doing - - I know . . . it\'s the closing the door \"forever\" that on some level bothers me, but I can\'t figure out why... I guess it\'s because it\'s the addiction talking and it doesn\'t give you any out :] - - -and in me the fear that there is no turning back once you put it out of your life and really make that commitment.. But then I think what \"good\' could I possibly miss out of it - certainly not the social part because noone wants to talk to you anyway - so obsessed and into the machines, not the stress-relief part because as the day goes by and money goes away, the stress INCREASES - certainly not a stress-reducer :]
I like the idea of increasing my cash flow - it will definitely do that!
Thanks so much for writing to me; it sure helps to talk it out.
Have a great night,
Until tomorrow - big day 5 coming up..
Smokeygirl